#BulletTrainMovie – Movie Review

Bullet Train – Budget of $86 million – 2 hours and 6 minutes

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Yuichi Kimura sits near a hospital bed, where his son, Wataru, is in a coma. As Wataru’s grandfather, The Elder, walks in, Yuichi reports that someone pushed Wataru off a roof. The Elder tells his son, Yuichi, that a man protects his family. Yuichi found a note. The note states that Wataru’s attacker will be on the bullet train headed to Kyoto in seat B4. Yuichi buys a ticket and looks for him. As he approaches B4 with a gun, Yuichi finds a young girl sitting there. He apologizes, and she stuns him. The young girl is known as The Prince and wants to use Yuichi to set up her target, The White Death.

Maria’s called her best snatch-and-grab man, Ladybug, for a job after The Carver fell ill. She named him Ladybug because he is and feels notoriously unlucky. On all Ladybug’s past missions, someone accidently dies. After some time with his therapist, Barry, Ladybug is ready to return to work. Maria wants Ladybug to board the bullet train and find a silver briefcase with train stickers and get off at the next stop. Ladybug prepares for a simple job on a quiet train. 

Lemon and Tangerine are twin brothers working for The White Death. The White Death’s enemies kidnapped his son, The Son, and held him for ransom. Lemon and Tangerine faked a ransom drop, killed the kidnappers, and got The Son. They will ride the bullet train and return The Son and the briefcase of money to The White Death.

A mobster raised The Wolf after The Wolf’s mother died. Now, The Wolf is a contract killer for the mob boss. After each hit, The Wolf comes home to his girlfriend, nicknamed mi corazón. Years later, The Wolf marries his girlfriend in a white tuxedo with the mob in attendance. The Wolf raised his glass of red wine just as a waiter bumped him, spilling wine on The Wolf’s tux. The Wolf left to clean his suit and got a bloody shock. All his guests, including his wife, were bleeding from their eyes and mouths. They all died. Later, someone uncovered that The Hornet poisoned The Wolf’s wedding, and now The Hornet will be on the bullet train. The Wolf swears to get his revenge. These killers are on the same train with a different mission. However, they will collide with a Fiji bottlea barrettea sticker, and one unfortunate incident (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer). Oh, and there is a venomous snake loose on the train.

You CAN NOT be late for this movie. If you miss one second, go home. Based on Bullet Train by Kōtarō Isaka, this movie has surprises throughout the plot that will make you gasp, laugh, and scream (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer). Between Ladybug’s therapy wisdom and Lemon’s Thomas the Tank Engine obsession, the audience will find quick laughs between the bloodshed. The fight scenes display the different styles with expert choreography and well-timed dialogue, and each assassin has a unique fighting technique and weapon of choice. While the story isn’t linear, the director placed the flashbacks in the right place to move the story forward. There is one mid-credit scene that will bring you to a visual zen. And believe that the above synopsis is only 25% of this movie. If you love Ambulance’s action, John Wick’s humor, and Death on the Nile’s mystery, this is the right movie for you. You will want to see it twice and bring a friend.

I give it 5 out of 5 stars

Let this be a lesson in the toxicity of anger – Ladybug

And your handler says, “Some conflicts require a gun” – Maria

When was the last time you ate a lemon meringue pie – Tangerine

Aren’t you glad we waited – The Prince

You lucky son of a b***h – The Wolf

You stole my snake, b***h – The Hornet

F**k no – Lemon 


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