Fist Fight – Review

Fist Fight – Budget of $20 million – 1 hour and 31 minutes

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The students of Roosevelt High couldn’t care less about their school, especially on the last day. They are pulling pranks on everyone and with everything. But when they pull a prank on Mr. Strickland, the history teacher, they go a step too far. He gets furious and pulls out a fire ax, using it on a student’s desk. The student says nothing but the other teacher in the room, Mr. Campbell (the English teacher) is a different story. With a pregnant wife (who is 2 days overdue), a daughter who depends on him, and teacher cuts, Mr. Campbell wants to keep his job. So, when Principal Tyler says talk or your both fired, Mr. Campbell rats out Mr. Strickland. Mr. Strickland loses his job and blames Mr. Campbell. He decides to have a fist fight and hurt Mr. Campbell for losing his job. Afraid, Mr. Campbell tries to get security, the police, a Mac Book Pro, and meth, to stop the fight that is trending #TeacherFight

A lot of sex jokes, drug jokes, a Big Sean song, and a fight are a good mix. The flat humor of Ice Cube plays well for Mr. Strickland. And the montage of his legend feels like a recap of his music videos. This is the same debauchery we have seen in 21 Jump Street, but it’s still fun. Now, it was shocking to see the fight really happen … and it was a pretty cool fight. But they gave a reason for it and stood up for teachers. That made the movie fun. So if you want some mindless fun, this is the movie to see, but see it at matinee price. And remember the movie takes place within 1 school day.

I give it 3 out of 5 stars

This is gonna be a bad day – Mr. Campbell

Losing here is a tradition – Coach Freddie Coward

Remember, teachers stick together – Mr. Strickland

And get the Apple Care – Neil

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The Great Wall – Review

The Great Wall – Budget of $150 million – 1 hour and 44 minutes

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William and Pero are searching to find the mythical black powder. They have heard that this substance can turn air into fire. During their 6 month search, they lost 20 men and are being chased by bandits. Along with 2 other men, they find refuge in a cave. Out of nowhere an animal attacks. William cuts off one of the limbs, but can’t identify the animal. William and Pero decide to find someone who can. While on the search, they are chased by bandits, but are stopped by a circle of arrows at the Great Wall. They know the bandits will kill them, so they take their chances with the Nameless Order. The Nameless Order knows the animal as the Taoties. Every 60 years, the Taoties swarm and kill everything in their path to feed their queen. The wall was build to slow them down in the hopes of killing them and protecting the world. In order to protect their secret, the Commanders decide to let William and Pero live but never let them leave. William and Pero learn the Nameless Order have black powder and make a plan to escape with it. Until, that is, they see the Nameless Order fight the Taoties in order to save the world. William decides to stay by their side and fight.

While there are many legends about the Great Wall, this movie displays one of them. This is the typical “bad guy goes good for a cause movie”, so nothing new there. It does have some deadpan humor and wonderful costumes, but that’s not enough to carry an entire movie. You leave this film with the sense that something was missing. Even with the CGI monsters and decent CGI fight scenes, this movie was just OK. Nothing really memorable. Wait for RedBox. However if you see it in the theaters, don’t waste money on 3D or IMAX. It’s a complete waste. And be prepared to read the subtitles.

I give it 2.5 out of 5 stars

What God made those things – Pero

Whether or not the cable is attached, that is the question – Commander Lin

Follow my lead. We will be fine – William

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A Cure For Wellness – Review

A Cure For Wellness – Budget of $40 million – 2 hours and 26 minutes

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Lockhart, has gotten a promotion with a corner office, so when he is asked to meet with the board, he is excited. The board, on the other hand, is not. The point out that they have spotted his mistakes and the SEC wants to ask questions. Lockhart knows the SEC doesn’t care about the small fish, they want the CEO, Roland Pembroke. During Pembroke’s vacation at a wellness spa in the Swiss Alps, he wrote the board a letter saying he was never coming back; and that’s not ok with the board. The board wants Lockhart to bring Pembroke back NOW! Once Lockhart gets to the spa, he has come back the next day because he missed visiting hours (by 15 minutes). A pissed off Lockhart leaves, but gets into an car accident on his way to the hotel. He wakes up in the spa with a broken leg. The director, Dr. Heinreich Volmer, tells him it’s best to stay so they can help him get better. He agrees and signs the papers to get treatment. However while at the spa, Lockhart learns the history of the grounds and its owners. He gets more suspicious of the doctor, Hannah (the youngest patient), the sickness, and the cure.

This movie feels like a homage to all suspense movies. With long creepy hallways, rooms without doors, creepy dentist, zombie-like staff, and a mystery liquid, you never know which way is up. There are 3 mysteries to figure out while watching this film. First, where is Roland? Second, what is the cure? Third, what happened to the brother and sister who lived on the property centuries ago. By the end, all will be revealed. However, with so many homages, this film is a bit bloated. Solving so many mysteries can cause the watcher gets lost and confused. The film should have spent 15 minutes in the beginning, giving a glimpse into to the past. This film may not become a blockbuster, but it will become a cult classic with many theories to come. And just a warning, there are somethings in this movie you will never be able to un-see. If you have a strong stomach, see it matinee price.

I give it 3 out of 5 stars

How could I? You know how I like my coffee – Lockhart

Believe me. You are in good hands – Dr. Heinreich Volmer

I am not well – Roland Pembroke

No one leaves – Hannah

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