Rampage – Review

Rampage – Budget of $120 million – 1 hour and 47 minutes

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The spacecraft Athena-1 has exploded and the only surviving entity is 3 canisters of research.  One lands in the Everglades, the second in Wyoming, and the third in San Diego.  Each container has a genetic mutating pathogen called CRISPR.  While this project was scrapped by the government out of fear it could become a weapon of mass destruction, Energyne has quietly continued the research.  David Okoye is a former US soldier and primatologist with the San Diego Zoo.  After saving a rare albino gorilla from poachers, David has bonded with George and taught him American Sign Language. David prefers animals over people any day of the week.  So when George’s snaps, jumps into a bear enclosure, kills a bear, and grows in height and size, David knows something is wrong with his friend.  Normally, when animals become overly aggressive and dangerous, they are put down.  David won’t let the happen to George and he has one week to do it.  Just when he goes searching, Kate finds him.  Kate tells him she works with Energyne and knows this is their pathogen.  George will continue to get bigger, stronger, and more aggressive.  Soon, nothing will be able to stop him.  However, Kate gives David some hope.  Energyne has a cure, but they will have to get through the CEOs Claire and Brett to get it.  The CEOs don’t want to cure George, they want to kill and study George.

Based on the Rampage video game, this movie is exactly what you expect (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer). Crazy plotlines, man vs monsters, and crazy CGI graphics.  While it does mention poaching and animal cruelty, it doesn’t allow those topics to drown out the major point of the film; animals attacking the Chicago.  This movie does have a Jurassic Park feel with brutal attacks by animals.  But it’s just nothing new.  We have seen these storylines played out in other films, just based in a different state or country.  Also, George and Harvey are the funniest characters in the entire movie.  And one of them isn’t even real.  So if you like action and crazy deaths, see this movie matinee.  Otherwise, wait for Redbox.

I give it 2.5 out of 5 stars

We’re friends, right? – David

Us assholes gotta look out for each other – Harvey

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Sherlock Gnomes – Review

Sherlock Gnomes – Budget of $59 million – 1 hour and 28 minutes

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Sherlock Gnomes has finally put an end to his long-standing rivalry with Professor Moriarty.  However, Watson can tell that Sherlock is bored now that Moriarty is gone.   So when he hears that Gnomes are missing one garden at a time, Sherlock is quickly on the case.  Gnomeo and Juliet’s owners are now in love and moved to London to be closer to their families.  With the change of garden location, Lady Bluebury and Lord Redbrick believe its time to retire.  They want their children Gnomeo and Juliet to rule of the garden.  While Gnomeo uses this as a time to relax, Juliet is busy on the job.  She puts so much focus into the garden, that Gnomeo feels neglected.  So to win Juliet back, Gnomeo decides to find the Cupid’s Arrow Flower (The flower they were fighting for in the 1st movie). But during the mission, Juliet has to save Gnomeo when he is almost caught.  During their rescue/fight, they learn that all of their friends are now missing.  Watson and Sherlock are on the case to help find their friends.  However, the couple is still fighting.  So Juliet goes off with Sherlock and Watson goes with Gnomeo.  This pairing will help them discover themselves but can they still save their friends.

As the sequel to Gnomeo and Juliet and based on Sherlock Holmes, this movie holds all the magic of both genres (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).  It opens with the Gnomes arguing over which “classic” book/movie to do over.  It provides plenty of laughs for adults and kids alike while giving you a strong mystery with multiple suspects.  Of course, adults will believe they have it figured out within the first 5 minutes.  Well, you are right and wrong.  While some of your favorite Gnomes are back, a few more were added to spice up this movie.  However, they are all garden gnomes you have seen before.  So, seeing them come to life is a lot of fun.  This will quickly become a favorite with a great story, computer-animated and drawn graphics, and catchy songs.

I give it 3.5 out of 5 stars

Watson, look at what you did to the globe – Sherlock Gnomes

I am not your punching bag – Watson

Oh, that’s super cheesy – Juliet

I call it a ‘Gnomeo’ – Gnomeo

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