#AlienCovenant and Diary of a #WimpyKid: The Long Haul – Movie Reviews

Table of Reviews

Alien: Covenant – Review

Alien: Covenant – Budget of $97 million – 2 hours and 3 minutes

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Alien: Covenant
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On December 5, 2104, the Covenant is a ship with 15 crew members, over 2000 colonists, and over a thousand of embryos. It is set to land on a new planet called Origae-6 in 7 years and 4 months. On Origae-6, a new colony will be formed for the human race. Everyone is in hypersleep accept an A.I. named Walter. He is singlehandedly taking care of the ship until a sonic burst interferes with the equipment and wakes up the crew. After a horrific awakening, the crew realizes that a planet nearby can sustain human life. Captain Oram decides to go on an expedition mission to learn more about the planet. All but 3 crew members go. They collect water samples and look around. They notice there are no living things (people, birds, bugs), but there is earthly vegetation. But without people who planted it. As they learn and discover, 2 crew members step on small pods. These pods release airborne particles that enter their body. As you know, the particles will eventually come out. When things hit the fan, they run into David, who is an A.I. that looks exactly like Walter. They learned that David was on the Prometheus when he and the only surviving crew member landed.  They accidentally released the particles that inhabited everything, creating the aliens and killing the host (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer). The team has to get back to the mothership without bringing any of the creatures on board but a storm over the planet is blocking their signal to the mothership crew.  Can they make it back safely and alone with everyone intact?

Sigh. This movie went on too long. It becomes really boring really fast. Bring a pillow and wake up during the screaming. The special effects were, well, basic for this franchise. The computerized flashlight beams were comical.  And screens are a reminder of the game show Press Your Luck (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).  All the twist and turns were predictable and done in all other movies, including Alien movies. Aliens popping out of areas are predictable and overdone. You only cringe at the amount of blood, guts, and spinal cords you will see. This movie should have gone straight to DVD. The next one, unfortunately, will be in theaters, too. And yes, with the ending of this movie, there will be a next one. But for this movie, wait until Red Box.

I give it 2 out of 5 stars

If you created me, who created you – David

I love you – Jacob

I have never heard my wife scared before – Tennesse

There have been a few updates since your day – Walter

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Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul – Review

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul – Budget of $22 million – 1 hour and 30 minutes

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Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul
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Susan Heffley is sick and tired of the digital divide in her family. She has decided the family will drive to her grandmother’s home without any technology other than the car’s built-in GPS. Her sons, Roderick, Greg, and Manny beg for their mother to change her mind, but she collects their phones anyway. And to make matters worst, Greg has gone viral as Diaper Hands. However, Greg gets and idea from his friend Rowley. If Greg meets his hero Mac Digby (video gamer vlogger), he can make that meeting go viral and end Diaper Hands. Greg sends an email to Digby and gets a reply, which states they can meet at the Player Expo. Greg looks at a map and sees that it is possible. According to the map, grandma’s house and the expo are only 2 inches apart (Yes, you read that right, 2 inches). Greg wants to go to his grandmother’s party, step out for an hour, go to the expo, meet his hero, go viral again, and go back to the party. Sounds easy right? Of course, easy isn’t fun. By the end of this trip, they will gain a pig, a feud, and enough stories for a book (pun intended).

Based on the book, Diary of A Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul by Jeff Kinney, this movie follows the book with the classic cartoon drawings for each character (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer). This movie touches the nerve of the modern day parent. They want their children to unplug and enjoy the life around them. But, kids today can’t imagine the world without a device of some kind. But in the end, the family is key. This is a good comedy for the whole family. It provides easy laugh without swearing or sex jokes. You may not laugh out loud hysterically but you will have a quick chuckle. Now be forwarned, there is one vomit scene but it doesn’t last long. So if you want a family movie that is not a cartoon, this is the one for you.

I give it 3 out of 5 stars

I have failed as a parent – Susan

This isn’t what it looks like – Frank

Good luck Greg. I wish I could say it was nice knowing you – Roderick

It’s a diaper. It’s a diaper – Greg

Four. Five. Six. – Manny

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