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Paper Towns – Review

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Paper Towns – Budget of $12 million – 1 hour 49 minutes

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Paper Towns
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There are 3 types of people who see books-turned-movies

  1. The people who love the book, who understand that the whole book can’t be in the movie, but want little to no changes
  2. The people who love/like the book, who don’t care about the amount of changes. as long as it ends the same
  3. The people who know someone who read the book

Be assure that all 3 types will be satisfied with John Green’s latest film adaptation of his book, Paper Towns.

The story starts with boy meets new girl next door.  Quentin, or Q, is instantly in love with Margo Roth Spiegelman.  And this would be a typical love story, until one event changed their friendship.  Now in their senior year,Q is still in love with Margo, but Margo and Q could not be farther apart. Until, one night, Margo slips into Q’s window and ask for his help with her plan for revenge against a cheating ex-boyfriend and a backstabbing friend.  Q reluctantly agrees.  That night Margo completes 9 (yes, nine for those that read the book) tasks to get revenge.  The next day, Margo disappears.  This disappearance is nothing new for Margo.  Margo often runs away and leaves clues behind for people to find her.  This time Margo’s parents are through with her antics and refuse to look for her.  They believe she will come back when she wants money or she is bored.  Q will not accept this.  He wants to find the love of his life, Margo Roth Spiegelman.

Q, with the help of his friends Ben and Radar, find clues to where Margo might be and decide to find her.  Q, Ben, Radar, Angela (Radar’s girlfriend), and Lacey (Margo’s best friend) go on a road trip to help Q find Margo.  This road trip leads to Q discovering the meaning of a miracle, friendship, and love.

This movie has a rare intro from John Green thanking the crew, actors, and watchers of the movie.  For some this feels desperate, but true John Green fans know this is just John connecting with fans as he does through social media.  The movie feels like a better re-write to the book.  The key points of the book are there and John Green fans know why some parts were taken out.  It gives you an ending, a John Green ending, but an ending nonetheless.  All 3 people listed in the beginning of the review will be pleased.

I give this movie 4.5 out of 5 stars

If there is a tuba there, its not a party – Radar

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Minions – Review

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Minions – Budget of $74 million – 1 hour 31 minutes

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Minions
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Minions movie is all about where these yellow creatures come from and their bosses before the Famous Gru.  The minions have worked for a T-Rex, Cavemen, Dracula, and even Napoleon.  But after sometime, the minions are boss-less.  At first, the minions are okay and build a little community.  However, without a boss, they lose their purpose and direction for their lives.  So Bob, Kevin, and Stuart go to find the biggest, baddest boss to server.

Later, the Minions attend a private Villain Convention and meet their new boss: Scarlet Overkill.  Scarlet, is the 1st female Super Villain in history, with a loving and smart husband creating her weaponry.  Scarlet give she minions a mission of stealing Queen Elizabeth’s crown.  If they succeed they will give power, respect, and bananas…yes bananas…along with Scarlet excepting their minion brothers left behind.  Of course stealing that crown will not be an easy task, however the minions will do anything for their boss.

If you are going into this movie expecting a Despicable 2.5, you will be disappointed.  The Minions movie must be viewed as a separate movie from its predecessors.  Also, this movies has long moments of Minion-ese that will require your full imagination and attention to interpret.  This movie had its heart felt and warm moments, but not as many laugh out loud moments.  50% of these jokes you have seen in the Despicable Me movies.

I give it 3 out of 5 stars

We are here for so much fun, it’s a crime – Walter Nelson

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Magic Mike XXL – Review

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Magic Mike XXL – Budget of $14.8 million – 1 hour 55 minutes

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Magic Mike XXL
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Magic Mike XXL starts with Mike successfully leaving the world of adult entertainment and starting a custom furniture design business.  Currently, its a 2 man operation but he is getting steady work and is living his dream.  Or at least he thinks he is, until he get a call from Tarzan.  That call leads to a crazy road trip from Miami to Myrtle beach for the 2015 Stripper Convention.  The 5 guy decide this will be their last ride … dance.

During this trip, mostly into Mike’s past, you learn each guy has their dream beyond the stage.  Tarzan is an artist.  Big Dick Richie wants love.  Ken wants to be an actor/singer.  Tito wants to make artisan frozen yogurt in a roach coach with Tobias.  You get a feeling that each guy is missing something that dancing will never provide.  After learning of these dreams, Mike decides the team needs new routines that reflect their desires, not just the personas Dallas provided in the 1st film.  Although Mike’s idea is meet with resistance, the team agrees.  The final dance is created and displays each dream at the Convention.

This movie steps outside the box by making the background characters, in the first movie, the focal points in the sequel. Magic Mike XXL isn’t a rehash of the first, ,but a coming-to-age/male-bonding movie with stripping.  Since this is a road trip, most of the dancing is not in a strip club.  The removal of the strip club, allows the dancing to go to the next level.  Now this movie does pander to women more by saying “You are all beautiful”, “You deserve to be worshiped”, etc. It will provide you guys with some great pick up lines.  And ladies, you won’t care about the plot line once you see the guys … dancing.

So for the first time ever, I will provide 2 ratings

For guys: 2 out of 5 – see it matinee to pick up single women and pick up lines

For ladies: 4 out of 5 – see the picture above

How much for the Cheetos and water? – Big Dick Richie

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Ted 2 – Review

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Ted 2 – Budget of $68 million – 1 hour and 55 minutes

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Ted 2 starts with Ted and Tammi-Lyn getting married by Flash Gordon.   During the course of the film, you find that John and Laurie got divorced because he was changing too much for her.  Ted tries to get Johnny back in the saddle and find love again.  While helping Johnny, Ted and his new bride are having marital and financial problems.  How do you fix that? Have a baby.  While attempting all avenues to have a baby, Ted sets off some red flags and government realizes he is a toy bear … not a person.  So, he loses his job, bank account, credit card account, loyalty card, and marriage.  He decides to fight for his civil rights and get personhood.  So, he, can marry Tammi, have a baby, and get his life back.

This movie is ok.  If you are a die hard fan of the first movie and you have to see Ted 2, go matinee.  If you don’t have to see it, wait for Redbox.  The best parts of this movie, are in the promos.  There are weird dance sequences, flat jokes, and a similar ending.  This movie should have went straight to DVD, not in the theaters.

I give it 2 out of 5 stars

You hear that Johnny, you’re covered in rejected black guys sperm…just like a Kardashian – Ted

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Inside Out – Review

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Inside Out – Budget of $175 million – 1 hour and 37 minutes

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Inside Out
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Inside Out goes into the mind of 11 year old Riley.  At birth, you can see Riley’s 1st voice in her head, Joy, appear.  And through out her life, you can see her other voices, Disgust, Fear, Anger, and Sadness, come along.  Joy, Sadness, Fear, Disgust, and Anger all live and work in Head Quarters controlling Riley’s actions and thoughts.  The story picks up after Riley moves to San Francisco from Minnesota.  Although the move is rough for Riley, Joy tries to help her stay positive.

Inside Riley’s mind you will see her Island of Personality, Train of Thought, Long-Term Memory, Short-Term Memory, and a host of other amazing places.  While at the helm of Riley, Joy tries to keep Sadness away from the controls, Riley’s Core memories, and Short-Term memories.  When Sadness touches a memory, they change, which effects Riley’s thoughts of the past.  Its the 5 core memories that keep Riley’s Islands of Personality running.  The Core Memories are knocked out.  As Joy is trying to put them back, Sadness, Joy, and Riley’s Core Memories get sucked into Riley’s Long Term Memory.  While Joy and Sadness are gone, Anger, Disgust, and Fear are left to run Head Quarters.  With these feelings, along with no Core Memories at Head Quarters, Riley is losing her personality and wants to run away back to Minnesota.  Joy and Sadness must make it back to Head Quarters before all of Riley’s Islands of Personality are destroyed and cause Riley to feel nothing.

This movie will make you think about the way you think.  What are your core memories? Why do you feel the way you feel?What is the reason for your emotions?  This movie does have its tear jerk-er moments. It’s Disney and Pixar!!!  Remember Mufasa died and Andy gave up Woody.  Expect to cry!!!  Spoiler alert: both parents live.  Get their early enough for the short film and stay for the credits.  You will get a lovely treat.

I give it a 5 out of 5.

I cry candy.  Try the caramel.  It’s delicious – Bing Bong

On a scale of 1 to 10, I give this day an F – Disgust

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Spy – Review

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Spy – Budget of $65 million – 1 hour and 40 minutes

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Spy is a semi-funny action movie about a woman named Susan Cooper who get to leave her desk job at the CIA and become a field spy after active spies’ information is released.  Susan, a homely, overweight woman, is the eye in the sky for Bradley Fine, played by Jude Law.  Susan and the other desk spies are treated as a 4th class citizens by the CIA and deal with constant infestations and little recognition.  Susan Cooper is the typical character for Melissa McCarthy and other overweight women in films.  She is put down, feels down, learns she is awesome, shines, and then everyone thinks she is great.  This story has been done before.  Rick Ford, played by Jason Statham, is the funniest character in the movie.  Rick has the craziest stories to tell about his adventures and an inflated sense of self.  You never knew what he would say next.  Rick keeps the film interesting.  Along with Rick, there are some decent gadgets, fight scenes, and chase scents.

I was often distracted by Melissa’s stunt double for some of the scenes.  It was obvious the stunt double was quite smaller and it didn’t cut well.  Also, the film relied on swearing to push jokes that were not funny.  And spoiler alert, you will see all the twist coming … each and every single twist.

I give it 2 out of 5 stars

Was Peppy La Pew not available – Susan Copper

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Dope – Review

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Dope – Budget Unknown – 1 hour and 43 minutes

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Dope
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Dope – noun \’dop\

  1. an illegal drug (such as marijuana or heroin)
  2. a stupid or annoying person
  3. very good

This movie covers a 3 definitions of Dope.  Dope follows a senior and Inglewood resident named Malcolm, whom has dreams of going to Harvard when he graduates.  Malcolm is in the process of having to write his essay for his Harvard application.   However, his first attempt, using Ice Cube’s Good Day as its foundation, was shot down by his adviser.

Malcolm finds solace performing in his band, called Awreeoh (pronounced Oreo), with his two friends Diggy and Jib.  They are picked on for being into “white people’s ‘stuff’ ” like skateboards, comics, punk music, and getting good grades.  Malcolm tries hard to not be the stereotype black male from a single parent household in the hood.  But he still lives in today’s Inglewood and has to deal with the problems that plague his hood.

Malcolm also loves 80’s hair, 80’s fashion, and the neighborhood beauty, Nakia. Dom, the local drug dealer, also has his eyes on Nakia.  Dom ask Malcolm to ask Nakia to come to his birthday party.  This leads to a Malcolm going back and forth between Dom and Nakia, until Malcolm is invited to Dom’s party.  Of course, Malcolm, Diggy, and Jib all go and have a good time … until a shoot out.  During the shoot out out, Malcolm, Diggy, and Jib escape unharmed and later discover they left the party with gift from Dom.   This gift leads the three into a crazy change of events with a cast of characters that are all interconnected.

Dope is Ferris Bueller’s Day Off mixed with Valentine’s Day mixed with The Wood with dash of Pulp Fiction.  This movie takes you on a wild ride into character development.  And just when you think you know Malcolm … you don’t.  Malcolm doesn’t fit in a box, not even the one he created for himself. Dope is just that … Dope.

I give it 5 out of 5 stars

You shouldn’t settle for what is expected – Malcolm

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