#SpyWhoDumpedMe and #TheDarkestMinds – Movie Reviews

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The Spy Who Dumped Me – Review

The Spy Who Dumped Me – Budget of $40 million – 1 hour and 57 minutes

The Spy Who Dumped Me

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Audrey has 2 highlights in her life.  Her best friend Morgan and her favorite arcade game.  She looks to both of them because her boyfriend Drew broke up with her in a text message.  And to make matters worse, he won’t text back to get his stuff.  So, Morgan grabs her phone and text Drew.  She texts him that she will be setting is stuff ablaze.  Drew calls Audrey back and begs her to stop burning his things.  While at work, Audrey is approached by Sebastian, who asks her to walk him to his car.  She agrees to be nice but he pushes her into a van.  They explain that Drew is CIA and they need her help to find him.  She promises to keep in touch and gets out of the van.   The next day, Morgan is having fun with her latest conquest and Audrey is getting ready for work when Drew comes through their window.  He tells Audrey to hold on to his trophy.  And if he doesn’t make it, she must meet Verne in Cafe S in Vienna at 11 am tomorrow and give Verne is 2nd place fantasy football trophy.  If she doesn’t do it, a lot of people will die.  Seconds later, Drew is killed.  With a slight nudge, Morgan convinces Audrey to keep her promise and finish Drew’s mission.

With an out-of-the-world plot, this movie is funnier and more action pack than the trailer would allow you to believe.  And no, you haven’t seen the best parts in the trailers.  This will make you laugh out loud and cringe.  Also, you will do both at the same time.  It provides a lot of intricate twist in the plot but it isn’t anything new.  You can see the big reveal coming.  The biggest joy of this movie is seeing the two main characters ab-lib the funniest dialogue.  They constantly feeding off each other, upping the ante each time.  While it does have a love story, the sisterhood story between Audrey and Morgan is much stronger.  See this one matinee and bring your best friend.

I give it 3 out of 5 stars

I’m normal – Audrey

I have so much respect for you that it full circled to objectifying – Morgan

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The Darkest Minds – Review

The Darkest Minds – Budget of $34 million – 1 hour and 45 minutes


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On a typical school day, Ruby sat with her friends at lunch, laughed, and talked.  Then, her friend dropped dead in front of her.  By the end of the month, half of her class was dead.  Soon, 98% of the children in the US would die of IAAN (Idiopathic Adolescent Acute Neurodegeneration).  The remaining children would be left with powers.  The government has asked all the parents to turn their children over to be cured.  President Gray was able to cure his son, so he believes all the children can be cured.  Ruby knows her parents are worried about her being taken away.  So, on her birthday night, she tiptoes into their bedroom and promises she won’t let anyone else take her away from them.  When she touches her mother’s arm, she gets the first sense of her powers by erasing her parent’s memory of her.  The next morning Ruby’s mother doesn’t recognize her and calls the government to take her.  The government takes her to a concentration camp where the kids are separated by their “Danger Level” color.  Greens are the smartest.  Blues can move objects with their minds.  Golds can control electricity.  These are the safest colors.  Oranges and Reds are the most dangerous and should be killed on sight.  Ruby takes the test and she is an orange.  But before she can be killed, she touches the doctor and changes his mind.  The doctor makes her diagnosis a Green.  This camp will be her home for the next 6 years.  Until Ruby is discovered as an Orange and must escape.  With the help of Dr. Cate Connor, Ruby gets out of the camp.  However, when Cate makes a stop to meet up with her partner Rob with the Children’s League, Ruby gets a bad vibe from touching him and runs off.  She hides in Liam (Blue) and Chubs (Green) van with the help of Zu (Gold).  They are looking for a rumored oasis for kids like them.  They believe they will finally be safe there.

Based on The Darkest Minds series by Alexandra Bracken, this movie is The Fifth Wave meets X-Men (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).  With bounty hunters, doctors, and even their parents turning on them, it’s hard to understand who to trust.  Now fans of the book series, understand this movie won’t fall in line perfectly but it’s still a good movie.  This movie ends on a cliffhanger because it’s the set up for the next movie.   So don’t be surprised if you feel like the movie didn’t have a true ending.  While the major plotline and the subplot aren’t original, it provides some laughs and heartfelt moments.  This is a great matinee for teens over the summer.  However, everyone else can wait for Redbox.

I give it 2.5 out of 5 stars

I kinda like myself the way I am – Ruby

What did I tell you about picking up strays – Liam

It’s Charles to you – Chubs

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#StarWars: #TheLastJedi and #Ferdinand – Movie Reviews

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Star Wars: The Last Jedi – Review

Star Wars: The Last Jedi – Budget of $200 million – 2 hours and 32 minutes

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Star Wars: The Last Jedi
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Rey is now face-to-face with the legendary Luke Skywalker.  She wants to be trained in the ways of the Jedi and bring him back to Leia & the Resistance.  He has no interest in training another Jedi and thinks it should end.  He wants to stay on his island and enjoy the simple life, without the force.  However, while Rey is with Luke, she realized she can connect to Kylo’s mind.  Kylo tells her she doesn’t know the truth about Luke.  She must ask him why he decided to give up the ways of the Jedi.  Only then will she see the truth about Luke Skywalker and join Kylo.  In space, Finn has just woken up to learn the Resistance is under attack.  They are down to their last ship and can’t run for two reasons.  First, they are low on fuel and can travel light speed one more time.  Second, the First Order can track them through light speed.  The Resistance wants to abandon ship and find safety.  However, Finn and Rose (a new friend that stunned him) come up with a plan to jam the tracker and give the Resistance time to escape.  But first, they have to break into the biometric scanner so the ship won’t detect them on board.  Maz tells them they need a code breaker on Canto Bight.  Finn must stop the tracking device so Rey will have a ship to come home to after her training is done.  With everyone’s plan in place, the Resistance will need to come together to escape the deadly clutches of the First Order.

Visually, this is an amazing, beautifully shot movie.  The scene of Rey and Luke on Ahch-To are stunning.  Also, the battle scene on Crait was enhanced with an effect where the salt became red if it was disturbed by movement.  It was the exclamation point the scene needed.  While this movie offered a lot of “hold your breath”, cheering, and crying moments, it still felt too long.  Also, Luke give you the feeling of being Mei Pei instead of a reluctant Jedi (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).  You sit waiting for the real Luke to come back.  As this happens, you find yourself getting bored.  This movie could’ve been shorter and had the same impact.  So, definitely see it in Dolby.  When a ship gets hit, your chair will shake.  Although 3D is nice, it’s not a necessity.  While this is not the best of the Star Wars franchise, it’s not the worst (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).

I give it 4 out of 5 stars

You and your friends are doomed – Holdo

I can’t feel my tongue – Finn

I don’t think they like me – Rey

I can’t imagine why – Luke Skywalker

Ask him – Kylo Ren

I know, I changed my hair – Leia

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Ferdinand – Review

Ferdinand – Budget Unknown – 1 hour and 47 minutes

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A young calf named Ferdinand lives at Casa Del Torro and, unlike the other bulls, he doesn’t want to fight.  He wants to snell the flowers and care for others.  His father tells Ferdinand his wants are noble.  But they are bulls and one day he has to fight.  His father is one of the best bulls in the business and is usually picked by the Matador.  After a match, Ferdinand’s dad does not come home.  In shock, Ferdinand escapes and catches a train.  He jumps off the train, runs, stumbles, and is knocked unconscious.  He wakes up in a barn and is approached by Nina.  He smells her flower in her hair and instantly becomes her pet.  She promises to never hurt him and never make him fight.  Ferdinand lives, sleeps, and eats with young Nina.  They go to the Flower Festival each year but this year Ferdinand can’t go.  Juan, Nina’s father, tells her Ferdinand is a full grown bull, not a calf.  People in town will not understand that he is gentle and sweet.  So, Nina, Juan, and Paco the dog go to the festival.  Even though Ferdinand is given every holy sign not to go, he does anyway.  After a chance of clumsy events, Ferdinand is mistaken for an angry, baby-eating bull and is taken away, back to Casa del Toro.  When Ferdinand learns the truth about bullfighting, he knows he must escape and get back to Nina or he will face the Matador in the ring.

Based on the book Ferdinand by Munro Leaf, this is a funny light-hearted comedy about tough events (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).  Now, they never say the word “die” or “death” but it is implied.  So be prepared for the younger children to asks “what happened”.  Out of respect for the culture, they never display the bullfighters as good or bad, they are just a part of the plot to help move the story along.  Ferdinand isn’t trying to run from the fighter, but the fight itself.  He doesn’t want to be a fighting bull, just Nina’s pet.  One thing is painstakingly clear, the amount of time the animators spent studying Madrid’s city, farmland, and Matador traditions.  The backdrops and costumes are some of the most amazing in animation.  You will want to find out if these places are real and if you can go.  Stay past the first set of credits and 3D is not necessary.

I give it 3.5 out of 5 stars

Hey, I thought I was the good boy – Paco

A+ on the flank. Mommy like that. Mommy like that – Lupe

You’re either a fighter or meat. Later meat – Valiente

Think thin – Ferdinand

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#AllEyezOnMe and #RoughNightMovie – Movie Reviews

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All Eyez On Me – Review

All Eyez On Me – Budget of $40 million – 2 hours and 20 minutes

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In 1971, The Panther 21 were released from prison. One of those 21 was Afeni Shukar. She was not only outspoken but she was 7 months pregnant. Later, Afeni and her two children, Tupac and Sekyiwa, were being watched by the FBI. They were following because the FBI was searching for Tupac’s stepfather Mutulu. After being raided, Afeni decides to move to Baltimore. Although Tupac and Sekyiwa dread the movie, Tupac will find his love and passion for lyrical wordplay and prose at the Baltimore School of the Arts. And while Tupac is getting lead roles, he develops a friendship with Jada Pinkett. With everything developing, Afeni decides she wants the kids to move to Oakland. Tupac learns that violence is everywhere but Oakland’s crimes are out in the open. In Oakland, Tupac connects with Leila, who gets him an audition with Shock G of Digital Underground. With a few bars, Tupac is on the road living the life. With his first deal signed, Tupac is on his way to becoming an icon.

Wow. Just Wow. Demetrius Shipp Jr. embodies Tupac not only in looks but in voice and mannerisms. Props and wardrobe studied Tupac’s style to get the look and tech right for each time period. During each time period, the composer and director made sure each song was right for the scene. Not just Tupac’s music but the top songs of that time. Also, this movie makes a great transition. The first half is Tupac narrating by way of interview. The second half occurs after he bailed out. It is impossible to view this movie without a feeling of dread. It’s a countdown to his life. This movie followed his movie career along with his acting career. You will learn several things about Tupac. And while it painted Tupac as a kind, intelligent, compassionate man; they didn’t polish him up to make him seem perfect. It’s those flaws that lead him down the wrong path. His biggest flaw was being loyal to a fault. However, missing this movie is a flaw.

I give it 5 out of 5 stars

Please don’t do anything stupid – Sekyiwa

I’m gonna be revolutionary – Tupac

The only thing that we can leave is our culture and our music – Tupac

You should really try harder – Kidada Jones

Freedom ain’t free – Afeni

You ain’t even in California and you are already gone soft on me – Jada

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Rough Night – Review

Rough Night – Budget of $20 million – 1 hour and 41 minutes

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Rough Night
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On her last night at college before spending a summer abroad in Australia, Jess spends one crazy night with her 3 friends at George Washington University. She promises Alice, Frankie, and Blair that they will remain friends but their kids will play together. Ten years later, Jess is getting married and Alice is throwing a bachelorette party in Miami. While Jess wants to have fun, she is worried that getting too crazy will ruin her campaign to become a state senator. However, when Jess sees Alice at the airport, she knows that Alice wants to get wild and loose. Once in Miami, the girls meet up with Peppa, Jess’s friend from Australia. After a fun night, Blair decides to get Jess a stripper and Frankie provides. The girls head home and have some more fun when there is a knock at the door. It’s a really hot guy and that wants to go to the restroom then dance for Jess. But once he gets too aggressive, Alice takes over and accidentally kills him. They try to save him, but it’s too late. As they continue to figure what to do, there is another knock at the door. They realized the majority of the houses outside walls are made out of glass. They attempt to move the body before the pizza guy sees it. After a few slices and a few failed attempts of moving the body, the girls decide to call Blair’s uncle. At first, he tells them it was an accident and they will be ok. However, when he learns they moved the body and cleaned the scene, he tells them they can get 15 to life for tampering with a crime scene. They decide they have too much to lose so they must get rid of the body. Jess starts to panic and calls her fiance Peter. During the middle of the conversation, Peter asks “Do you still want to marry me”. Frankie grabs Jess’s phone and screams “No”, but Peter just hears no and believes Jess wants to break up. After discussing the issues with his friends at his bachelor party, he decides to drive to Miami and get Jess back. This happy couple is about to have a Rough night.

It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great. While the movie was very crazy, the scenes with Peter are the funniest. This isn’t as raunchy as other films, but it does have a lot of dirty moments. Don’t go into this movie expecting a pure comedy. It’s more of a “what will happen next” drama. You never know how bad it is about to get off the girls and how they will handle it. It is amazing that they were able to tie in the Marissa Alexander story, Joseph Oberhandsley story, Lisa Nowak story, and the Human Centipede movie in want film (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer). Now to answer the movies biggest question, you must stay to after the end credits. If you do, you will be treated to The Kiwi Song by Kate McKinnon. Yes, that is really her voice. So this is Matinee or Red Box, your choice

I give it 2 out of 5 stars

I may look like a princess but I smell like a peasant – Alice

She’s delicious. I want that – Leah

When you got bread and veggie mite, you got yourself a meal – Peppa

I’m delegating – Blair

I think there’s someone you should meet – Peter

Thank You – Phil

Shame on you. Shame on you. You’ve been ok – Jess

Protest is a full-time job – Frankie

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#OfficeXmasParty – Review

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Office Christmas Party – Budget of $45 million – 1 hour and 45 minutes

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Clay and Carol are siblings with only their parents in common. Carol has been the responsible one who got her father’s company but not his attention. Clay is the fun one who got his father’s attention but only heads a branch of the company. Carol has come to a decision. If Clay doesn’t turn a 12% profit before the end of the quarter, which is 2 days away, she will layoff 80 workers. Also, Carol cuts the bonuses and the Christmas party for the budget. Clay loves his employees and will to do anything to help them keep their jobs. He believes he can land the $14 million account with Walter Davis. Knowing Walter has met with Dell and Oracle, Carol believes that Clay will not have chance, but agrees. If Clay gets the deal, his employees can stay and have their bonuses.  But she won’t budge on the party.  Walter likes their initiative, but does not like their company culture.  He believes that companies have put the board ahead of the workers and believes Clay’s company is the same. Clay decided to show Walter different by inviting him to the canceled party. Now Clay has to put together the biggest bash possible to win over Walter, his employees, and his sister.

This movie is a lot like Horrible Bosses (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer). The party is just a means to an end, not the actual end. This story leads to a car chase, gun wielding pimps, office romances, and cutting edge technology … all because of one party. It has a homages to Game of Thrones, Fast and Furious, and Project X (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).  There are a lot of good comics with good gags and even a few life lessons, but it’s just not great.  There is so much going on that you may forget the point of the story.  If you are a fan of these movies, see it matinee and don’t stay past the end crawl.

I give it 2.5 out of 5 stars

Dynamite – Josh

Congratulations, you’re free. Are you going to get a back tattoo and skinny jeans – Tracey

My sister from another mister. I’m kidding. Our mother didn’t have affairs until the late 90’s – Clay

Don’t make me pull rank Clay. It is canceled. – Carol

If you use handcuffs, have a spare key. We don’t want this to be Thanksgiving again – Trina

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#Ghostbusters – Review

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Ghostbusters – Budget of $144 million – 1 hour 56 minutes

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Erin is up for tenure at Columbia University; and then she is shocked to find out that her old friend, Abby, has put her book on Amazon for sale. This book on paranormal activity made Erin the laughing stock of her field. She confronts Abby to ask here to take the book down. Abby agrees to do it, but only if Erin comes with her and Holtzman to find a suspected ghost. During this, Patty, an MTA worker, makes a ghost discovery of her own. She finds Erin, Abby, and Holtzman to tell them about her ghost. All four band together to fight ghost. During their investigation, they realized that paranormal activity is increasing and must find the cause. However, this hobby becomes a job when all 4 women leave their employment or is fired. They find a place, hire a sexy but dumb receptionist Kevin, and improve their inventions. Their feats are posted to YouTube but no one believes them. Well … that is … until they start calling. So who you gonna call?

Although it has the same title, it is not a remake of the 1984 classic Ghostbusters. It does get creepy at moments to frighten the audience, but it’s done with humor. This movie can easily stand on it’s own, but you need to see the first film to get some of the cameos. Unlike some films, the best jokes are NOT in the trailer. Each women is given a distinct personality, strength, and weakness to make the audience connect to the character. Although this movie makes you LOL (as in texting it but not laughing), it quickly makes up for itself with puns, action, and suspense. This is a good matinee movie to see in 3D. And stay past the end crawl.

I give this 3.5 out of 5 stars

Too sexy for academia – Erin

Come here often – Holtzman

You were never invited – Abby

You are just a bundle of joy. Aren’t you? – Patty

Hey, that man went out the wrong door – Kevin

This world cannot be cleansed soon enough – Rowan

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The #AngryBirdsMovie – Review

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The Angry Birds Movie – Budget of $73 million – 1 hour 37 minutes

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Orphaned and bushy eyebrows have made Red an outcast all his life. But since he couldn’t beat the flock, he alienated himself from the flock. Now, Red provides food and entertainment for children’s birthday parties. When a parent claimed he was late, Red lost it and cracked the parents’ egg. The parents took Red to court for causing them mental distress. Since, Red’s face is the first face their hatchling saw, it calls Red daddy. The Judge sentenced Red to anger management, the worst punishment for this happy flock. In anger management Red meets Matilda (the group’s leader), Bomb (exploded when he was frightened at his surprise party), Chuck (speeding, robbery, credit card fraud, and destruction of property), and Terrence (what ever he did, it was horrific). Then a ship rolls in carrying … what else … pigs. Red knows Leonard, King Pig, and his friends intentions are bad. However, all the other birds just want to be happy and welcome the pigs. Finally, with the “help” of the Mighty Eagle, Red sees the Pigs’ nefarious plot. Steal all the eggs and eat them! Now Red must teach the birds to be angry and fight to save their children.

Ok … well … this movie is cute. The plot is a mix of Despicable Me, Up, Indian Jones, and X-men: Days of Futures Past with the Angry Birds game. It didn’t break any ground in animation or story telling. It tried to tug on the heart strings but you won’t care enough to get emotional. It’s adult jokes fell flat. The score is the best part of this movie. They picked new and old music to capture the tastes of all movie goers. Also, the voice actors did a great job with a bad script. If you take your child to see this movie, expect them to leave with the same feeling as The Good Dinosaur. Ok but not great and a little bored. Also, your younger children probably won’t eat eggs for a while. Wait for Red Box. Angry Birds can be skipped.

I give this 2 out of 5 stars

I thought you said you stored your nuts for the winter – Leonard

Wisdom is not something that is given. It is attained – Mighty Eagle

Pluck my life – Red

It’s a shame when you create something and someone else destroys it – Chuck

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