JamesFranco

#KINmovie and #AXLMovie – Movie Reviews

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Table of Reviews

KIN – Review

KIN – Budget of $30 million – 1 hour and 42 minutes

KIN
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Elijah goes around town finding scraps from abandoned buildings to sell. He is saving for a new pair of shoes. On one of his explorations, Elijah finds dead bodies and a high tech weapon. He gets spooked and runs home. He comes home to his disappointed father Harold. Elijah was suspended for fighting a kid who spoke badly about his deceased mother. Harold tells him if he is not in school he will be doing chores all day. In addition, his brother Jimmy will be coming home after a 6-year bid in jail. Elijah goes back to the abandoned building to clear his head. The bodies are gone but the weapon is still there. He grabs the weapon and it lights up. So he puts the weapon in his bag, sneaks into the house, and hides it under his bed. The next day Harold finds Elijah’s scraps and tells Elijah taking those things is stealing. He wants Elijah to call all the Section 8 housing directors and apologize. When they get Harold’s business to make the phone calls, Harold notices the chain is broken. He tells Elijah to stay in the car until he comes out. Elijah puts on his headphones and waits. A few minutes later Jimmy comes out and tells Elijah their dad is staying because someone broke in and poured concrete everywhere. Harold told Jimmy the two should immediately go on a trip to Lake Tahoe (their mother’s favorite place) and he will meet the two later. Elijah is happy to get away from the chores. In a hurry, Elijah grabs some food, clothes, and his new secret weapon. But Jimmy is hiding a huge secret too. Before he ran to the car, he helped two men (Tyler and Dutch) break into is Harold’s business to steal money he owed them. When Harold tried to stop them, Tyler killed Harold and Jimmy killed Dutch (Tyler’s brother). Jimmy knows Tyler and his crew will come after him and kill him and Elijah. Unknowingly, Elijah is on the run from the police, Tyler, and his crew.  Oh and let’s not forget, someone is looking for that weapon.

This movie, produced by Michael B. Jordan, mixes a complex storyline with a sci-fi flair.  Elijah is learning what it really means to be a man and the true definition of a family each mile of the road trip.  As Jimmy takes him to motels, a strip club, and a poker game, he does it with the intention of keeping Elijah happy.  But Jimmy hates himself for keeping their dad’s death a secret.  Jimmy is not represented as cold and evil, just irresponsible and lost.  While this movie starts with a weapon as the answer to some of his problems, it’s really the key to unlocking the truth.  Parents, be forewarned, that this movie does involve strippers.  They are clothed but it’s equal to a bikini.  While this movie has a strong message about manhood, the strip club scene is 10 minutes long and up to your discretion.  But this is a strong movie that deserves a second look and possibly a part 2.

I give it 4 out of 5 stars

I don’t even know why I listen to you – Elijah

I got a lot of money. I am looking to get drunk. He is looking to get caffeinated. You want to join us – Jimmy

Don’t hide it. It proves you’re a survivor – Milly

You are not a replacement – Harold

Be careful, it’s slippery there – Tyler

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A-X-L – Review

A-X-L – Budget of $10 million – 1 hour and 40 minutes

A-X-L
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Miles is a motocross racer who feels like he has nothing going for himself. He did poorly in school, has no money, and no sponsors. He feels that racing is all he has. Sam, the competition has money and sponsor. Miles believes if he had those things, he could have made it to nationals by now. So when Sam asks Miles to attends one of his parties, his dad tells him it may be the connection he needs to move up in the racing world. He has fun and gets to meet Sara again. He saw her after a race and kept a picture she drew and threw away. Sara is the daughter of Sam’s housekeeper. While Sara sees Sam is an arrogant, playboy, Sam sees Sara is one of his girls. After losing Sara and a race to Miles, Sam sees him as a threat. So he causes Miles to wipe out on his bike and leaves him in the middle of nowhere with gas. When he tries to start up his bike, he hears banging in a container. Inside the container, he finds a robot dog. The dog chase Miles on his bike until the dog gets impelled by a large pipe. When Miles removes the pipe, the dog sees Miles as a friend and delivers maintenance instructions to his phone. Miles learns the dog’s name is A-X-L (Attack, Exploration, Logistics). Axl was created to replace K9s. It biometrically links with its owner, can carry a slew of payloads, and kills. When the dog is activated, it alerts its owner Craine Systems. When the owner discovers the dog is advancing like never before, he decides Miles will be the first human subject and he will study Axl’s progress. Axl, however, is very volatile and extremely dangerous. Axl snapped once to escape Craine Systems, he will snap again. His new owner Miles may be in danger but will he be able to give Axl up?

This movie is a mix of Transformers, Alpha, and Frankenstein (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).  It uses Axl’s POV to help the viewer understands how he makes connections between friend and foe using body scans, commands, and hacking.  If you blink, you will miss this critical information.  Also, in the first 2 minutes, the movie gives a brief explanation of the start of the Axl program.  But don’t worry if you miss it, there is a longer recap later.  While the tech and human/robot dog relationship is fun to watch, this movie is better suited for adolescents and pre-teens.  It’s a good matinee movie for the entire family.  Otherwise, wait for Redbox.

I give it 2.5 out of 5 stars

Axl, remember this – Sara

We’re friends, right? Friends don’t bite friends – Miles

Yo, send it – Axl

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#PatriotsDayMovie and #WhyHim? – Review Repost – In Stores Now!!!

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Table of Reviews

Patriot’s Day – Review

Patriot’s Day – Budget of $45 million – 2 hour and 13 minutes

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Patriots Day
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Sargent Tommy Saunders is on suspension from the Boston Police Department and has to do beat cop work to get his job back.  The final beat is patrolling the Boston Marathon’s finish line. Dun Meng was trying to sell his new app to local restaurants while missing is family in China. He finally works up the nerve to ask out a cashier at a restaurant and takes her out after the bombing for normalcy. Patrick Downes and Jessica Kesky, newlyweds, decide to watch the race instead of going to watch the Red Sox play. Steve Woolfenden, a family man, takes his son, Leo, to the race for a good time.  Officer Sean Collier, works for MIT security and makes plans to go out with his dream girl to a concert. Brothers, Dzhokhar “Black Hat” and Tamerlan “White Hat” Tsarnaev, sit and watch Al-Qaeda instruction videos for bomb making while eating breakfast. All these people, Boston, and the world will be changed with 2 bombs. When the smoke clears, blood, body parts, and ball bearings will be all over the ground … leaving the FBI Agent Richard DesLauriers in charge over Boston Police Commissioner Ed Davis ,his team, and the investigation. They know they have to stop Black Hat and White Hat before they set of another bomb. But another question the police have: Is there anymore bombs around the City? They will do everything to stop the bombers and save Boston.

BOSTON STRONG!!!! This movie is shot like a reality TV show. The camera focuses in and out, is not steady, and it’s shot from weird angles. This makes you believe you are watching this as it happens. Also, real clips of the bombing, race, capture, and news coverage are used to help drive the story. This movie tugs at the heart strings, will make you scream in angry, and smile with joy. You are inspired that Boston, the Police, and the FBI all came together and work as a unit to catch the Tsarnaev brothers. The FBI quickly learn that their biggest weapon was Boston’s eyes and ears. And hearing first person testimonials at the end are poignant and endearing perspective.  Although every story that day can not be told, these accounts gives a conclusion to each story. This is a great movie for adults to see at full price. Children will not be able to handle some of the images.

I give it 4.5 out of 5 stars

Do I look like a clown – Tommy Saunders

Is it just me or do I get better looking everyday – Jeffrey Pugliese

Are you ready for this – Dzhokhar Tsarnaev

Yeah, but I am a fornicator – Tamerlan Tsarnaev

Yeah, it’s very dead out here – Sean Collier

You know nothing about me – Katherine Tsarnaev

I bet I will race before you – Patrick Downes

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Why Him? – Review

Why Him? – Budget of $38 million- 1 hour and 51 minutes

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Why Him?
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After a memorable and untraditional introduction, Ned and Barb’s daughter, Stephanie, decide to let her parents meet her boyfriend, Laird. On their way to the hotel, Stephanie informs them they that she changed the original plans. Her parents and her brother, Scotty, will be staying at Laird’s home. She wants her parents to get to know him better, but after “the introduction”, Ned feels he knows enough. After some tense and uncomfortable moments, Laird invites Ned to his “office”. Laird asks for Ned blessing to ask for Stephanie’s hand in marriage. Ned says “No” because “Stephanie isn’t ready”. Laird disagrees. So the two make a pinky promise. If Laird can win Ned over, Ned will give his blessing. And with that blessing, Laird will propose on Christmas (which is 3 days away). Now, Ned is determined to change his Stephanie’s mind about Laird. But Laird is changing the family one member of the time.

Get ready to laugh and cover your eyes in surprise/shock/disgust. Is easy to miss jokes because you are laughing and have your eyes close. Now, crude humor is used in this story, but it is done well. Every F-bomb is done in a matter that is funny not stupid. It does tell the story of a power struggle between two men who have more in common than they know. Although Ned is asking “Why Him”, in a video montage the audience sees Laird and Stephanie’s love. Cameos are used more as long running jokes that drive the story. You will want to watch it again to believe you saw what you think you saw. You will never see a toilet, a moose, or food the same after this movie. If you like 21 Jump Street mixed with Guess Who? with a dash of The Hangover, this is for you (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).

I give it 4 out of 5 stars

I will see your almost black balls later – Stephanie

Well it’s something alright – Barb

So if I googled for you, what would I find – Ned

I have blinders. I see nothing. I smell nothing – Gustav

We are going to nail him like he is nailing your daughter – Hacker

I’m getting my seat at the table – Scotty

What’s your favorite curse word – Laird

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#HighSchoolLover, #MadibaBET, and more – TV Reviews

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Table of Reviews

High School Lover – Review

High School Lover – Lifetime – 2 hours and 2 minutes

High School Lover

Kelly is a free spirit teen and loves spending time with her friends, Allison and Larry. She doesn’t get along with her step mother, Sam, but loves her dad, Rick. One day, Allison gets access to an exclusive party for the “Box Brothers”; and tells Kelly and Larry to come. At the party, Kelly catches the eye of Christian Booth, a famous actor. He quickly approaches her and ask her for her number. She is smitten and obliges. Christian wants to know everything about her and send time with her, but runs into an obstacle when she is grounded for 2 weeks. Kelly sneaks out and goes for a helicopter ride that is captured forever. But when Kelly’s step-mother warns her father about Christian, Rick puts the breaks on Kelly’s relationship. Christian agrees to Rick, but ask Kelly to sneak out again. With love on the brain, Kelly doesn’t heed the warnings or the signals for a love that is sure to turn.

This movie is a mix of 50 Shades of Grey and the first Mother May I Sleep with Danger (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer). Franco does a good job of playing a strong protective, albeit slightly clueless, dad. And the women aren’t completely weak, if not naive, to Christian. If you are a Lifetimer, you will see the hints of who Christian will become, but it’s still fun to watch. You can’t be distracted while watching, because some of the dialog is in text. So if you can’t give this movie your full attention, don’t bother or you will be lost. The best parts of this movie are the confrontations. Your mouth will be left open. Don’t cancel plans but DVR or On-Demand it.

I give it 3.5 out of 5 stars

Can you not call him dad. Just because you’re young enough to be his daughter, doesn’t mean you have to act like it – Kelly

I look super good today, so I want you to keep up – Allison

For someone who doesn’t like me very much, you sure do like my taste in clothing – Samantha

I mean, I’m not a quitter – Larry

I don’t like it either – Christian

This could nice. A little father-daughter bonding time – Rick

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Click here to watch a preview

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Madiba – Review

Madiba – BET – 6 hours and 0 minutes (2 hours over 3 nights)

Madiba BET

Part 1

Born with the first name Rolihlahla, a young Nelson Mandela learned adversity, strength, and change after his father died. On his deathbed, his father requested that he live with another family to receive a good education.  In his first day of school, his teacher said he needed a Christian name; and chose to call him Nelson. Later, Nelson used his education to attend law school and fled an arranged marriage to do something to help his people. He and his brother, Justice, went to Johannesburg and learned the only jobs for them were in the coal mines. But one day, the injustice he saw inflicted on another miner changed the course of his life forever.

This 1st part of a three part series will leave you stunned. This part focuses on his childhood and his time in the ANC before having to flee. Seeing his passion for justice while working with a system, which didn’t want to work with him is powerful. He is strengthen by those around him and hopes to get fearful people to stand up. Nelson “Madiba” Mandela is one force that will not be moved, bent, or broken. It’s hard to watch this movie and not draw a parallel to the things going on in today’s society. It’s easy to forget how much South Africa has been through and how far it has to go. While the cinematography and costume designs are amazing, the accents phase in and out at times. This can be distraction in the movie.

I’m a man – Madiba

I suppose that’s it then – Justice

As I walked among the dead bodies, I knew there was no turning back – Madiba

The people want to see change.  They want action – Winnie

I think this is going to take a bit of adjustment – Oliver

There is the cause and there is family. Your duty is to both – Walter

God bless the Republic of South Africa– Dr. H.F. Verwoerd

Part 2

After Madiba runs, he is hiding from safe house to safe house. He knows he can’t keep running forever, so he must fight. However, he makes a bold and risky move by changing one of the core values of the ANC: non-violence to violence. After watching peaceful protestors get shot, Madiba tells them to start a bombing campaign. It’s not long before Madiba and his associates are captured and put on trial. They are charged with treason and other crimes. For the crimes they are charged, they are given the possibility of the death penalty. With the help of his wife, Winnie, he makes a statement in court that cannot be ignored. Once the trial is over, Madiba and his associates are sentence to life. Once in prison, he his given the highest security ward with the least amount of privileges. But even behind bars, the strength the ANC will move on, but at what cost?

This part of the 3 part series is a look into the mind of those behind the scenes. Verwoerd and Nelson both understood the ripple effect of what they were doing. Not just the immediate impact but the overall outcome for years. Verwoerd wants to stop Madiba, but doesn’t want to make him a martyr. Madiba wants to fight against apartheid, but doesn’t want to lose his purpose or family. Both know they have to create a stronghold of supporters to continue success. This is the part you will believe you know … but you are wrong.

What ever else he is doing, he makes us look foolish … worst incompetent – Dr. H.F. Verwoerd

You say violence begets violence. But in South Africa, non violence begets violence – Walter

You are not the only one in this family who believes in this struggle. I want to fight too – Winnie

I will no longer hide from this. We have to face it head on – Madiba

Part 3

After 18 years in prison, South Africa is still going through horrific struggles between Black South Africans and the Government. During the Soweto Uprising, several children are killed by police officers as they attempted to protest learning Afrikaan. After seeing tragic violence, Winnie doesn’t feel content just organizing protest. She wants to lead the fight and speak up. This has some in the ANC worried that she cannot be controlled or contained. Madiba, on the other hand, is worried about her safety and blames himself for everything she is going through. The government resolve is starting to weaken due the “Free Nelson Mandela” movement, Winnie’s speeches, and financial pressures. This will not be an easy change and Madiba will have to work with a pragmatic man to get it done.

The news clips of protest, burials, and change drives this movie home. The final installment of the series focuses on what lead to Madiba’s freedom and change for all South Africans – black and white. Also, this movie doesn’t end with Madiba getting out of jail. It discusses the changes in Madiba and his wife, Winnie, as they try to adjust to freedom and continuing the fight. Madiba and Winnie know more work is needed. Never give up the fight!

I am off to work but I am with you in spirit – Winnie

To understand one’s opponent is a good thing – Madiba

Black consciousness leads to black power – Steve Biko

Ruth wouldn’t let you get away with talking about Winnie like that – Oliver

Don’t worry about the tea Winnie. Don’t get up. I will let myself out – Walter

I give it 4.5 out of 5 stars

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Stage Fright – Review

Stage Fright – LMN – 2 hours and 0 minutes

Stage Fright

Sarah, a soprano opera singer, had a nervous breakdown after being attached by a crazed fan with a knife.  It is believed that her stalker is dead, but no body was ever found.  She cannot perform on stage and has nightmares within nightmares about the attacker.  But when a rival opera singer backs out of a charity performance, Mark (Sarah’s old manager), asks Sarah to perform.  At first Sarah says no, but she is persuaded to come back to the stage.  Once that decision is made, Sarah gets creepy phone calls, gifts with no sender, and a few dead bodies. Sarah must convince the police, her therapist, and her manager that she is being stalked again.

Bring a pillow.  This movie is not a mystery because you know the killer within the first 10 minutes.  You will be annoyed with the main characters lack of security and surrounding awareness when she seems to be terrified of everything.  Its easy to lose interest because the story is nothing new: dumb cops, absentminded friends and family, and “let’s investigate the creepy noise in the dark corner”.  This movie feels like deja’vu and it can be skipped.

I give it 1 out of 5 stars

I don’t want to be afraid – Sarah

Ok manager, but then I want out of there and it’s gonna cost you lunch – Melissa

She’s a tough cookie but I think she’ll come around – Mark

That doesn’t look good – Ryan

Yeah, unless you want to get inside – Hailey

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Love Locks – Review

Love Locks – HMM – 2 hours and 0 minutes

Love Locks

Lindsay and Jack’s time together was coming to an end, so they decided to put a Love Lock on a bridge in Paris to cement their bond and vow to meet again in a few months. But the lock falls in the water and their relationship is doomed. 20 years later, Lindsay’s daughter, Alexa, was accepted to an art school in Paris; and they go to get her registered and moved in. To deal with the stress of a big career decision and empty nest syndrome, Lindsay goes to the hotel’s bar for a drink. Guess who is the bartender? That’s right, Jack. The two are shocked, at first, but believe Lindsay’s old and Alexa’s new art teacher, Hugo, set it up. The two know there is a connection but Lindsay is trying to hide it. Will there Love Lock get a second chance?

This movies is about 3 different Love Locks:

  1. Lindsay’s with Jack’s or Trent (the new love interest)
  2. Alexa and JP, who just met in Paris
  3. Hugo and Kathryn, who re-connect after Kathryn’s husband dies

While each story nicely weaves into and influences each other, the story is slow and doesn’t captivate the watcher. You know how it will end, the jokes are average, and the main couple isn’t interesting to watch. This movie can be skipped or used as background noise. Note: If you have an Amazon Echo or Dot, this movie will turn it on a few times (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).

I give it 1.5 out of 5 stars

Don’t you have something to do – Lindsay

Oh yeah, that too – Trent

Throw in something sexy – Maggie

Just because you were right about the tooth fairy, doesn’t mean you’re right about this – Alexa

Well, I’m like a fine wine – Hugo

If you want extra towels, I’m your guy – Jack

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#WhyHim? – Review

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Why Him? – Budget Unknown – 1 hour and 51 minutes

Click on a vendor to purchase: Amazon, Best Buy, iTunes, Target, and Walmart (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer)
Why Him?
Click on a vendor to purchase: Amazon, Best Buy, iTunes, Target, and Walmart (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer)

After a memorable and untraditional introduction, Ned and Barb’s daughter, Stephanie, decide to let her parents meet her boyfriend, Laird. On their way to the hotel, Stephanie informs them they that she changed the original plans. Her parents and her brother, Scotty, will be staying at Laird’s home. She wants her parents to get to know him better, but after “the introduction”, Ned feels he knows enough. After some tense and uncomfortable moments, Laird invites Ned to his “office”. Laird asks for Ned blessing to ask for Stephanie’s hand in marriage. Ned says “No” because “Stephanie isn’t ready”. Laird disagrees. So the two make a pinky promise. If Laird can win Ned over, Ned will give his blessing. And with that blessing, Laird will propose on Christmas (which is 3 days away). Now, Ned is determined to change his Stephanie’s mind about Laird. But Laird is changing the family one member of the time.

Get ready to laugh and cover your eyes in surprise/shock/disgust. Is easy to miss jokes because you are laughing and have your eyes close. Now, crude humor is used in this story, but it is done well. Every F-bomb is done in a matter that is funny not stupid. It does tell the story of a power struggle between two men who have more in common than they know. Although Ned is asking “Why Him”, in a video montage the audience sees Laird and Stephanie’s love. Cameos are used more as long running jokes that drive the story. You will want to watch it again to believe you saw what you think you saw. You will never see a toilet, a moose, or food the same after this movie. If you like 21 Jump Street mixed with Guess Who? with a dash of The Hangover, this is for you (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).

I give it 4 out of 5 stars

I will see your almost black balls later – Stephanie

Well it’s something alright – Barb

So if I googled for you, what would I find – Ned

I have blinders. I see nothing. I smell nothing – Gustav

We are going to nail him like he is nailing your daughter – Hacker

I’m getting my seat at the table – Scotty

What’s your favorite curse word – Laird

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#SausagePartyMovie – Review Repost – In Stores Now!!!

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Sausage Party – Budget of $19 million – 1 hour 28 minutes

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Sausage Party
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Frank, a hotdog, and Brenda, a bun, can’t wait until the Gods (humans) take them to the Great Beyond, so they can be unpackaged and together forever. They live in the Shopwell Grocery Store and are excited about Red, White, and Blue day. They know that on this day, all hotdogs and buns are sold and go into the Great Beyond. Their only enemy is the Store Manager, who throws them away, before they can be chosen. Then, a returned honey mustard warns them that the Great Beyond is a lie and the Gods are monsters. The returned honey mustard, hotdogs, buns, a douche, and several other products are chosen by a God.  The honey mustard commits suicide but jumping off the cart, but gives Frank a warning first. When Frank and Brenda attempt to save the honey mustard, several items fall out of the cart and don’t get chosen. The douche, damaged in the fall and thrown away, angrily plots revenge against the Frank and Brenda. Frank, however, is on a mission to find out about the truth about the Great Beyond no matter what anyone thinks, including the love of his life Brenda.

WARNING: THIS MOVIE IS NOT FOR KIDS IN ANY WAY. THIS MOVIE IS NOT FOR KIDS IN ANY WAY. YES, THIS WAS REPEATED ON PURPOSE.

Sausage party, is wonderfully animated with the most horrifying scenes since Saw (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer). It gives a great message that you should learn the truth for yourself and not blindly follow. Although, be warned, the last 15 minutes of this movie, you will see things you cannot un-see and you will never look at a grocery stores the same. This movie makes fun of every culture through its food. If this movie was not animated, it would have been given an NC-17 rating and possibly protested against. This movie is shockingly funny and outrageous. Some of the jokes did fall flat but the last 15 minutes made up for everything. Come into this movie with an open mind and a good sense of humor.  And don’t say past the end crawl.

I give this 4.5 out of 5 stars

I would have never relished the thought that you would mustard up the courage to ketchup to me – Douche

Your celebrating your doom – Honey Mustard

I can still get up in there – Douche

I have never opened up before. She how tight I am – Brenda

Oh no, he suffered – Barry

Look at these big ol’ buns, waiting to get filled with my meat. – Carl

Banana’s whole face peeled off, Peanut Butter’s wife is dead! Look at him, he’s right there. – Frank
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#SausagePartyMovie – Review

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Sausage Party – Budget of $19 million – 1 hour 28 minutes

Click on a vendor to purchase: Amazon, Best Buy, iTunes, Target (Exclusive Set), and Walmart (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer)
Sausage Party
Click on a vendor to purchase: Amazon, Best Buy, iTunes, Target (Exclusive Set), and Walmart (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer)

Frank, a hotdog, and Brenda, a bun, can’t wait until the Gods (humans) take them to the Great Beyond, so they can be unpackaged and together forever. They live in the Shopwell Grocery Store and are excited about Red, White, and Blue day. They know that on this day, all hotdogs and buns are sold and go into the Great Beyond. Their only enemy is the Store Manager, who throws them away, before they can be chosen. Then, a returned honey mustard warns them that the Great Beyond is a lie and the Gods are monsters. The returned honey mustard, hotdogs, buns, a douche, and several other products are chosen by a God.  The honey mustard commits suicide but jumping off the cart, but gives Frank a warning first. When Frank and Brenda attempt to save the honey mustard, several items fall out of the cart and don’t get chosen. The douche, damaged in the fall and thrown away, angrily plots revenge against the Frank and Brenda. Frank, however, is on a mission to find out about the truth about the Great Beyond no matter what anyone thinks, including the love of his life Brenda.

WARNING: THIS MOVIE IS NOT FOR KIDS IN ANY WAY. THIS MOVIE IS NOT FOR KIDS IN ANY WAY. YES, THIS WAS REPEATED ON PURPOSE.

Sausage party, is wonderfully animated with the most horrifying scenes since Saw (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer). It gives a great message that you should learn the truth for yourself and not blindly follow. Although, be warned, the last 15 minutes of this movie, you will see things you cannot un-see and you will never look at a grocery stores the same. This movie makes fun of every culture through its food. If this movie was not animated, it would have been given an NC-17 rating and possibly protested against. This movie is shockingly funny and outrageous. Some of the jokes did fall flat but the last 15 minutes made up for everything. Come into this movie with an open mind and a good sense of humor.  And don’t say past the end crawl.

I give this 4.5 out of 5 stars

I would have never relished the thought that you would mustard up the courage to ketchup to me – Douche

Your celebrating your doom – Honey Mustard

I can still get up in there – Douche

I have never opened up before. She how tight I am – Brenda

Oh no, he suffered – Barry

Look at these big ol’ buns, waiting to get filled with my meat. – Carl

Banana’s whole face peeled off, Peanut Butter’s wife is dead! Look at him, he’s right there. – Frank

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#MotherMayISleepWithDanger – Review

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Mother May I Sleep With Danger – Lifetime – 2 hours 2 minutes

Mother May I Sleep With Danger

Pearl is enjoying some time alone with her girlfriend, when a secret is revealed. Pearl’s girlfriend is a nightwalker (a.k.a a vampire). Pearl tries to escape but she is bitten. Her girlfriend tells Leah that she will become a nightwalker and thirst for blood until she can turn her one true love. Then Pearl’s girlfriend dies. Pearl, working as a photography finds Leah, her muse. But Pearl is being urged by her coven to turn Leah. The problem: Pearl is falling in love with Leah and doesn’t want her to be a nightwalker. Can Pearl turn Leah? What will be lost at the end?

This remake of the 1996 cult classic, with the same name, adds a twist with a same-sex relationship, rape, and vampires. It’s Twilight meets The L Words meets 1996’s Mother May I Sleep with Danger. You don’t have to see the original to get this movie. However, there are nuances that Lifetime Avid Watchers will notice. Like the Professor, the kitchen scene, and the ring. Its hard to feel like vampires are the bad guys; because they only attack men who attempt to rape women. This movie’s twist is a lot like the twist in the 1st movie. This movie is background noise will doing laundry. Its not necessary to see or open wine.

I give this 2 out of 5 stars

You’re acting really crazy. Please just let me go – Pearl

You break a leg – Bob

I did not direct that – James Franco

I’m in love with someone – Leah

The first time in her life she has ever been on time – Julie

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