#SpyWhoDumpedMe and #TheDarkestMinds – Movie Reviews

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The Spy Who Dumped Me – Review

The Spy Who Dumped Me – Budget of $40 million – 1 hour and 57 minutes

The Spy Who Dumped Me

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Audrey has 2 highlights in her life.  Her best friend Morgan and her favorite arcade game.  She looks to both of them because her boyfriend Drew broke up with her in a text message.  And to make matters worse, he won’t text back to get his stuff.  So, Morgan grabs her phone and text Drew.  She texts him that she will be setting is stuff ablaze.  Drew calls Audrey back and begs her to stop burning his things.  While at work, Audrey is approached by Sebastian, who asks her to walk him to his car.  She agrees to be nice but he pushes her into a van.  They explain that Drew is CIA and they need her help to find him.  She promises to keep in touch and gets out of the van.   The next day, Morgan is having fun with her latest conquest and Audrey is getting ready for work when Drew comes through their window.  He tells Audrey to hold on to his trophy.  And if he doesn’t make it, she must meet Verne in Cafe S in Vienna at 11 am tomorrow and give Verne is 2nd place fantasy football trophy.  If she doesn’t do it, a lot of people will die.  Seconds later, Drew is killed.  With a slight nudge, Morgan convinces Audrey to keep her promise and finish Drew’s mission.

With an out-of-the-world plot, this movie is funnier and more action pack than the trailer would allow you to believe.  And no, you haven’t seen the best parts in the trailers.  This will make you laugh out loud and cringe.  Also, you will do both at the same time.  It provides a lot of intricate twist in the plot but it isn’t anything new.  You can see the big reveal coming.  The biggest joy of this movie is seeing the two main characters ab-lib the funniest dialogue.  They constantly feeding off each other, upping the ante each time.  While it does have a love story, the sisterhood story between Audrey and Morgan is much stronger.  See this one matinee and bring your best friend.

I give it 3 out of 5 stars

I’m normal – Audrey

I have so much respect for you that it full circled to objectifying – Morgan

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The Darkest Minds – Review

The Darkest Minds – Budget of $34 million – 1 hour and 45 minutes


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On a typical school day, Ruby sat with her friends at lunch, laughed, and talked.  Then, her friend dropped dead in front of her.  By the end of the month, half of her class was dead.  Soon, 98% of the children in the US would die of IAAN (Idiopathic Adolescent Acute Neurodegeneration).  The remaining children would be left with powers.  The government has asked all the parents to turn their children over to be cured.  President Gray was able to cure his son, so he believes all the children can be cured.  Ruby knows her parents are worried about her being taken away.  So, on her birthday night, she tiptoes into their bedroom and promises she won’t let anyone else take her away from them.  When she touches her mother’s arm, she gets the first sense of her powers by erasing her parent’s memory of her.  The next morning Ruby’s mother doesn’t recognize her and calls the government to take her.  The government takes her to a concentration camp where the kids are separated by their “Danger Level” color.  Greens are the smartest.  Blues can move objects with their minds.  Golds can control electricity.  These are the safest colors.  Oranges and Reds are the most dangerous and should be killed on sight.  Ruby takes the test and she is an orange.  But before she can be killed, she touches the doctor and changes his mind.  The doctor makes her diagnosis a Green.  This camp will be her home for the next 6 years.  Until Ruby is discovered as an Orange and must escape.  With the help of Dr. Cate Connor, Ruby gets out of the camp.  However, when Cate makes a stop to meet up with her partner Rob with the Children’s League, Ruby gets a bad vibe from touching him and runs off.  She hides in Liam (Blue) and Chubs (Green) van with the help of Zu (Gold).  They are looking for a rumored oasis for kids like them.  They believe they will finally be safe there.

Based on The Darkest Minds series by Alexandra Bracken, this movie is The Fifth Wave meets X-Men (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).  With bounty hunters, doctors, and even their parents turning on them, it’s hard to understand who to trust.  Now fans of the book series, understand this movie won’t fall in line perfectly but it’s still a good movie.  This movie ends on a cliffhanger because it’s the set up for the next movie.   So don’t be surprised if you feel like the movie didn’t have a true ending.  While the major plotline and the subplot aren’t original, it provides some laughs and heartfelt moments.  This is a great matinee for teens over the summer.  However, everyone else can wait for Redbox.

I give it 2.5 out of 5 stars

I kinda like myself the way I am – Ruby

What did I tell you about picking up strays – Liam

It’s Charles to you – Chubs

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#EverythingEverything and #SnatchedMovie – Movie Reviews

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Everything, Everything – Review

Everything, Everything – Budget Unknown – 1 hour and 36 minutes

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Everything, Everything
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For 18 years, Madeline “Maddy” Whittier has not left her house because she has Severe Combined Immunodeficiency (SCID).  SCID means her immune system is extremely weak and she is allergic to everything.  She lives in a home where her clothes are irradiated, special air is pumped in, and only 3 people are allowed in (Dr. Whittier – her mother, Nurse Carla, Rosa – Carla’s daughter).  She attends an architecture school online and fantasies about being in the ocean.  One day she looks out the window and sees Olly and his family moving in next door.  They exchange a brief wave but both are interested.  After “silent movie” flirting with the help of a Bundt cake, Olly gives his number to Maddy.  As they text and talk, Maddy pictures them being face to face.  She begs Carla to let her meet Olly in person.  She promises not to touch or kiss him and to stay far away.  At first, Clara says no but later relents.  The two have an instant attraction but keep their distance.  However, when Dr. Whittier finds out, Carla is fired and Maddy gets sick.  Maddy is given a new nurse and put on full lockdown.  Maddy adheres to the rules until she sees Olly’s father hit him.  She runs outside to protect him, but he forces her to go back in.  Later Maddy realizes she was outside and never got to enjoy it.  Now she wants more.  With a credit card, a plane ticket, and Olly by her side, her life will open up to the world and some hard truths.

Based on the novel, Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon, this romance will make you want to read the book (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).   Not because the movie is bad, but because you want to read about what was left out.  It was so good you want to know more about each character.  The most special moments is when they are texting or talking on the phone, but Maddy is imagining them face to face with a special companion in the room.  Also, when they are 100% alone, the two speak, but the subtext is given for what they are thinking is so witty.   The two actors have instant chemistry.  Also, you feel as if you are seeing things for the first time like Maddy.  You are amazed by the ocean, cars, and planes.   This is one to see at matinee prices and in the theater.

I give it 3 out of 5 stars

Every day feels exactly the same. Maybe today will be different – Maddy

I do feel sorry for you – Olly

Things are finally getting interesting for you and I am leaving – Rosa

He is not yours – Dr. Whittier

You are an idiot and not a good liar – Carla

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Snatched – Review

Snatched – Budget Unknown – 1 hour and 37 minutes

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Emily was fired from her job but she doesn’t care because Mike’s (her boyfriend) band is about to take off. She knows the money will pour in for them. But later that day, Mike breaks up with her for 2 reasons. One, she has no ambition in life and two, he wants groupies. Heartbroken, Emily changes her Facebook status to single and her mother Linda is quick to respond, on her wall where everyone can see. She goes to her mother’s home for the night. And after arguing with her brother Jeffrey and not having a friend to go with, she finds her mom’s old scrapbook. Inside the scrapbook are pictures, concert tickets, and plane tickets. She decides to take her mom to Ecuador for a girls trip so her mom can be fun again. On the first day, Emily and Linda meet Ruth and Barb, both are retired special ops. They warn the two to be careful. Of course, Linda listens with confirmation, while Emily ignores them. Then Emily goes to the bar and meets James. He is adventurous and invites her out. They have so much fun, he invites Emily on an outing the next morning. Stumbling drunk, Emily invites her mother. The 3 start off having a good time, but when Emily and Linda are kidnapped and held for ransom, they must learn to get along and get help

Ok, it’s honestly better than expected. There are some genuine laughs and OMG moments. But as the opening credits reveal, these women are more dangerous than their own kidnappers. There are gross moments to offset the sappy ones and funny moments to offset the serious ones. You will not forget the moment with the tapeworm. While this isn’t best work for Amy or Goldie, it’s still a fun time at the movies. If your mom can handle sex humor, breast, an adult magazine, and death, this is the movie. But only for the matinee price.

I give it 3.5 out of 5 stars

You can’t reach my hand, it’s over there – Mike

Help me put the fun in non-refundable – Emily

Oh, that’s nice. I didn’t know they had a daycare program at this hotel – Linda

You can go this way to avoid traffic – James

Just think about how to be better – Jeffrey

Don’t have more drinks then you have tits – Ruth

If you feel the urge to call again, resist it – Morgan

Adventure found me – Roger

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