Mindy Kaling

#Oceans8 – Movie Review

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Ocean’s 8 – Budget of $70 million – 1 hour and 50 minutes

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Ocean's 8
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Debbie is out on parole after 5 years, 8 months, and 12 days in prison.  She convinces the parole board that she wants to live on the straight and narrow path.  However, the moment her feet touch the ground, she is back to her old ways.  After “shopping” and “finding a hotel room”, she calls Lou.  Lou was her partner in crime and looks forward to hearing Debbie’s new plan.  Debbie wants to rob the Met Gala for a Cartier Necklace priced at $150 million.  Lou believes they will need dozens of people and millions of dollars.  Debbie assures Lou that she only needs 7 people and $20,000 for her plan.  So they recruit:

  1. Nine Ball – master hacker
  2. Tammy – a fence
  3. Constance – pickpocket
  4. Rose – fashion designer
  5. Amita – jewelry maker

With these people by their side, Debbie and Lou will attempt to give and get the Cartier necklace from Daphane (Hollywood starlet) and replace them with a fake.  Everything is going as designed until Lou finds Debbie’s true motivation for pulling off this heist.

As an extension to The Ocean’s Trilogy, this movie creates a good story with dashes of the past, lots of jewels, and some con-artist’s tricks of the trade (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).  While viewing the old movies isn’t necessary, it helps fill in some of the blanks about the Ocean’s past and family ties.  And fret not, you will learn why Debbie was arrested and who put her there.  Also, they explain why they chose an all women crew.  Plus using the Met Gala as a background, it provides you a look at the exclusive star-studded party while giving the viewers lots of stars from different walks of life.  This movie has plenty of close calls, nail-biting moments, and slick moves.  You will see these women use their wits to take control of the situation at any time.  It has a few funny lines but it never gets sappy or emotional.  Movies with an all-female cast can easily fall into the “Lifetime” or “Hallmark” trap.  This does not.  This movie is all about the heist and a different type of female empowerment.  See it matinee and Dolby is not necessary.

I give it 3.5 out of 5 stars

Holy Crap – Daphne

You gotta clean up your footprint – 9 ball

Ebay – Tammy

How did I get here – Rose

Well I got 45 dollars, I can go anywhere I want – Debbie

She needs to see it in the light – Amita

Because when you’re drunk, it tastes like Vodka – Lou

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#TombRaider, #WrinkleInTime, and more – Movie Reviews

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Table of Reviews

Tomb Raider – Review

Tomb Raider – Budget Unknown – 1 hour and 58 minutes

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Tomb Raider
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Lara sits in a large boardroom with her former guardian Anna and her father Richard’s attorney.  Anna has urged Lara to sign the papers to confirm her father is dead so the company and properties can be passed over to her.  Her father went missing 7 years ago but she hasn’t worked up the nerve to confirm his death, until now.  Just as she puts the pen to paper, the attorney hands her a Japanese puzzle box from her father.   She puts down the pen and starts to work on the puzzle and out pops a key with a note.  She follows the clues to a private office.  She finds a camcorder with the words ‘Play Me” posted to it.  She is intrigued to find a message from her father.  He tells her he is more than just a businessman.  He worked to discover the legends of the world.  His latest mission was to find Himiko: The Goddess of Death.  However, he feels he is being watched by a group called Trinity.  He warns her to burn all his work so no one will ever find it.  Lara’s curiosity gets the better of her and she searches for the truth.  And by the end of this adventure, Lara will gain an ally, get some trademark firepower, and come face to face with the person who shot her father.

Based on the Tomb Raider video games, this adventure story goes from 0 to 100 real quick (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).  It is better than you would expect and the best movie of this series.  During a chase sequence, so many bad things are happening in succession that Lara says the one thing the audience is really thinking: ‘Really?!?!’  Now there is a lull for 15 minutes to a pivotal moment but it does pick up.  The only downfall is the beginning has a lot faster pace than the end.  As they creep through the tomb and find traps, the soliloquies tend to drag for each character.  The end is only strengthened by the final fight scene.  Stay past the 1st set of end credits.  It does leave an opening for a part 2 and there is potential for a second.

I give it a 3 out of 5

Stop dancing and start fighting – Terry

You’ve been decorating – Anna

I’m sorry.  I’m just not that kind of Croft – Lara

What you got in the other boot – Lu

You shouldn’t have come here.  But I’m glad you did – bad guy

I love you – Richard

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Disney’s A Wrinkle in Time – Review

Disney’s A Wrinkle in Time – Budget of $100 million – 1 hour and 49 minutes

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Disney's A Wrinkle in Time
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Meg is the beloved oldest child of scientists Dr. Kate and Dr. Alex Murry.  She soaked up every ounce of knowledge they placed in front of her.  So when they adopt another child Charles Wallace, they let her know she will always be loved.  So having her father disappear for 4 years has caused Meg to acted out.  Her latest interaction with a bully has caused a rift in the household.  During a conversation about her behavior with Kate, she hears Charles Wallace talking to a woman in the living room.  Kate and Meg are stunned to see Mrs. Whatsit talking to Charles.  Mrs. Whatsis lets them all know that Meg is important and Charles is remarkable.  She expresses that the others will be there to help the children in their mission.  Kate politely asks Mrs. Whatsit to leave.  The next morning, Calvin is drawn to Meg.  Charles says Calvin was summoned because he has the diplomacy they will need later.  While walking with Calvin, Charles takes them to an abandoned house to meet Mrs. Who.   She has gone beyond language and just quotes the words of others.  They leave her and go home.  The next day Mrs. Whatsit and Mrs. Who introduce the children to Mrs. Which.   Mrs. Which tells Meg and Charles their father is still alive.  They will have to wrinkle time to find him in another dimension.  Meg will have to become a true warrior to save her father.

Based on A Wrinkle in Time (Time Quintet) by Madeleine L’Engle, this visual masterpiece has a great message for children and teens (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).  It praises acknowledging your faults while having a deeper understanding and compassion for others.  As Meg’s lack-of-self makes her time wrinkle painful while Calvin and Charles love the experience.  As she becomes stronger and finds a reason to fight, Meg finds the strength she never knew she had.  While it’s not a new story, the imagery given to the author’s words makes it remarkable.  The special effects can only be experienced on the big screen, but 3D is not necessary.

I give it 3.5 out of 5 stars

You have pretty hair – Calvin

Don’t use dad like that. It’s not fair – Kate

Your home is warm. You do a good job keeping the darkness out – Mrs. Whatsit

I love you – Meg

Let’s beat em up – Alex

Is there such a thing as the wrong size – Mrs. Which

I don’t like visitation – Happy Medium

Outkast, American – Mrs. Who

We tired her out – Calvin

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Gringo – Review

Gringo – Budget Unknown – 1 hour and 50 minutes

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Gringo
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Harold has the typical 9 to 5 job in Chicago.  He was recommended by his friend Richard as an Operations Manager.  While he works hard, he is $20,000 in debt because he supports his wife Bonnie’s business that doesn’t make a profit.  Harold, Richard, and Elaine all go to Mexico on a business trip.  Richard and Elaine leave Harold in the dark about most of the business dealings.  For a while, to make a profit, they have worked with the Mexican cartel to sell their medical marijuana pills.  Now they want to cut off the cartel.  The cartel decides to steal the formula and the only one who can get behind the volt is Harold.  They go to find Harold but he has run off.  Not because of the cartel.  But his world is crumbling around him.  With one phone call, he learns he is losing his friend, his job, and his wife.  With his debt, he decides to fake his kidnapping for the company travel insurance.  The problem is Richard and Elaine let it lapse.  But there is another insurance policy; life insurance.  With Harold dead, Richard and Elaine will make millions.  Harold has no idea his fake kidnapping will become a real life and death situation.

There is so much going on its hard to keep it straight.  For a while it tries to be funny, then serious, then a gangster movie, and then a love story.  This movie goes in so many directions it leaves the watcher dizzy and confused.  This storyline that takes on too much at once.  At least 2 angles could have been removed and the story would still make sense.  Wait for Redbox so you can rewind and rewatch.

I give it 2 out of 5 stars

You didn’t notice the guerilla – Bonnie

Do want to know what I had to eat on the flight home – Elaine

Eat your f’ing carrot – Harold

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Thoroughbreds – Review

Thoroughbreds – Budget Unknown – 1 hour and 30 minutes

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Thoroughbreds
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Lily was paid by Amanda’s mom to tutor her and be friends.  While they were friends in the past, Amanda calls Lily out for her ‘pay-to-play’ friendship.  After seeing an interaction between Lily and her step-father Mark, Amanda can see the tension between them.  Lily finally gets real and tells Amanda she hates her step-father.  Lily has a solution: Kill Mark.  Lily cuts Amanda off because she knows Amanda killed her family’s horse.  Lily knows that killing Mark isn’t something Amanda says in just.  But after Mark tells Lily she is being sent to boarding school for being expelled and fired, Lily wants him gone.  So she calls Amanda to hear the plan to kill Mark and execute it.

So have you ever wonder what happens when a sociopath meets a psychopath? Well, wonder no more.  These two girls quickly delve into darkness when Amanda tells Lily she can’t feel emotions.  She can feel tired, hungry, and pain but she can’t feel sad, happy, or afraid.  Lily, on the other hand, can feel everything to the point she is overwhelmed with emotions.  But its a question of who is controlling who.  While it’s an interesting movie, this feels like a long Criminal Minds episode (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).  Wait for VOD.

I give it 2 out of 5 stars

It’s only weird if you make it weird – Amanda

Some things weighing on you – Tim

Don’t drink that – Lily

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The Hurricane Heist – Review

The Hurricane Heist – Budget of $35 million – 1 hour and 43 minutes

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hurricane-heist-review
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ATF and Washington liaison Casey is ready to end her shift.  She needs to drop off 3 truckloads of money to a US treasury in Alabama to be shredded.  Once she gets there, she learns their generator is down due to the incoming hurricane.  She can’t leave without witnessing the shredding.  Since the phones are down, she goes into town to find Breeze.  Breeze is an ex-marine, mechanic, and partier.  Breeze has been warned by his meteorologist brother, Dr. Will that this hurricane is going to be bigger than any other hurricane before it.  Even bigger than the one that killed their father in front of them.  Breeze decides to stay in town and help Casey instead.  Driving back, Casey and Breeze don’t know that the Treasury has been taken over and the thieves are using the hurricane as cover.  They plan on stealing $600 million before it can be shredded.  However, the power is out and Casey has the codes.

While Hurricane Heist was Twister meets Den of Thieves, it’s missing a twist and real punchlines (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).  It does offer special effects but nothing that hasn’t been seen before.  This movie is just missing the action and firepower that comes from Fast and the Furious.  There is no real connection between the characters besides football and the acting is subpar.  This movie should have gone straight to DVD or VOD.  Wait until it’s on cable.

I give it 1.5 out of 5 stars

I shot them all – Casey

Here, don’t forget to take your vitamins – Breeze

How did that happen – Will

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