Andy Samberg

#HotelT3, #SicarioMovie, and more – Movie Reviews

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 Table of Reviews

Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation – Review

Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation – Budget of $65 million – 1 hour and 37 minutes

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Mavis realizes the more she and her father Dracula work together, the less time they spend together as a family.  She wants to make sure Dennis knows his grandfather.  So, Mavis books a cruise with several stops and the final stop being the Bermuda Triangle.  At first, Dracula isn’t impressed because he believes a cruise boat is just a hotel on the water.  But he changes his mind when he sees Captain Ericka.  Dracula hasn’t told his family, but he has been feeling lonely and wishes he can feel the “zing” again.  He hasn’t felt it since his wife died.  So, having that “zing” come back the moment he sees Ericka puts a pep in his step.  But Dracula doesn’t know that Ericka is the great-granddaughter of his arch nemesis Abraham Van Helsing.  And she has one mission, to retrieve an item to destroy all of monster-kind, including Dracula.

This movie falls in line with the Hotel Transylvania franchise (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).  It has enough kid humor to keep children entertained while providing the musical score parents will love.  This movie features a DJ mix off you will never forget.  While it does have several aspects you will love, it starts to get boring and predictable.  Your mind will start to wander.  However, it does provide a message of love and loss that children and adult will understand.  See this movie matinee

I give it 2.5 out of 5 stars

She’s my right arm’s cousin – Frank

When will you Van Helsing learn to get go of that – Dracula

Yes, I’m human but don’t hold that against me – Ericka

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Sicario: Day of the Soldado – Review

Sicario: Day of the Soldado – Budget of $35 – 45 million – 2 hours and 2 minutes

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Sicario: Day of the Soldado
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The U.S. Government want to add Mexican Drug Cartels to the terrorist list after several suicide bombers attacked on American soil with the cartels’ help.  At first, they consider going after the head of the cartel.  However, Graver knows this approach will only create more cartels.  Graver decides to start a cartel war by going after the kingpin’s children.  He will kidnap Isabel with the help of Alejandro.  And during the kidnapping, they will make Isabel think they are saving her in order to gain her confidence.  But when the mission changes Isabel and Alejandro are collateral damage that must be dealt with immediately.  Will Graver hurt or help this situation?

The second act of Sicario, this movie is not a continuation of the first but still keeps the same momentum (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).  It has lots of action and twists to keep you entertained.  But some moments are just dull and slow.  It was bloody, violent, and with government cover-ups, however, it never fully captivated the audience.  The stand-out moment was the US/Mexican shootout near the border.   It provided more action in that one scene than most action movies have it their entirety.  If you are a fan of the first, you will enjoy this one.  To newcomers, you don’t need to see the first to watch the second.  Also, there is a great potential for a part 3. But this won’t be the cult classic the first movie became.

I give it 3 out of 5 stars

You believe that change is the goal. You have been doing this too long to believe that – Cynthia

Remember what happened to the price of cocaine after 9/11. Tight borders are good for business – Gravers

So you want to be Sicario. Sit down. Let’s talk about your future – Alejandro

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Uncle Drew – Review

Uncle Drew – Budget of $17 – 19 million – 1 hour and 43 minutes

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Uncle Drew
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Uncle Drew was the biggest name in Rucker tournament.  However, after a clash with his team members, none of the 5 players showed up.  Now, the tournament has a $100,000 prize and creates legends.  Dax is a Ruckers coach who has lost his players, girlfriend, and home.  He needs this $100,000 to get his life back on track.  As he sits on the sidelines, literally and figuratively, trying to figure out what to do, he sees an old man teaching a young man about the game.  Dax, like most onlookers, laughs at the elderly man, until he starts to win.  Dax quickly finds Drew and ask him to be on his team.  Drew tells Dax it has to be his team and his rooster.  Dax tries to counter but Drew breaks him down.  Dax and Drew go on a road trip to find:

  1. Boots – on a psychiatric hold and in a wheelchair
  2. Big Fella – a Karate instructor
  3. Lights – blind
  4. Preacher – A preacher with a wife who WILL find him

While they all get closer, Drew and Dax are both keeping a secret.  Dax isn’t opening up about his missed hoop dreams and lack of love.  Drew isn’t opening up about his role in the team’s break up.  In order for the team to become a family, everything must come out into the light.

While this movie is better than expected, it’s what you expect.  It has some laughs, some heart, and some good basketball.  The team not only play in the Rucker Tournament, they also play against high school girls.  This movie also has a lot of messages.  First about letting go of the past.  Second, keep playing.  Three, don’t let your pride get in your way.  Even though it has all these messages, it doesn’t get preachy.  So if you are looking for a decent laugh, see this movie matinee.  If you love basketball, wait for Netflix or Vudu.  Stick during the end credits for bloopers and behind the scenes shots.

I give it 2.5 out of 5 stars

A bag of Dax makes more sense – Mookie

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take – Uncle Drew

You’re Gladys Knight and they’re the Pips – Dax

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#TheWrongCrush and #TourDePharmacy – TV Reviews

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Table of Reviews

The Wrong Crush – Review

The Wrong Crush – Lifetime – 2 hours and 2 minutes

The Wrong Crush

Two years after being rushed to a hospital after a fatal car crash, Amelia is trying hard to turn her life around. She is getting good grades in school, a star athlete, and stop drinking. She needs to stay on the straight and narrow to stay on probation and go to college. While her friend Lauren and her boyfriend Scott believe in the new Amelia, her mother Tracy does not. Tracy believes that her daughter will go back to her old ways and become self-destructive again. So when Amelia comes to Tracy’s job to report a strange person outside their home, Tracy believes she is just trying to get attention. Mr. and Mrs. Hessler also believe Amelia is a bad seed. They blame Amelia for their daughter Joy dying 2 years ago in the same car crash that sent Amelia to the hospital. Amelia tries to explain that she loved Joy and reminds them that she has a restraining order against them. The Hesslers leaves but warns they would be watching for her to slip. Now Amelia worries that they are the ones she saw outside her home. Amelia’s self-help group tells her to be strong and wait for Tracy and Mr. & Mrs. Hessler to come around. With everything going good, Amelia’s sobriety is tested when she consistently battles with her mom, her boyfriend, and Joy’s parents. But she meets a new guy in school, Jake, who also is in her support group, she makes a connection. She talks to Jake for support and tries to get a handle on things when her boyfriend is arrested for drug possession. She feels trapped, confused, alone, and watched. She will soon learn that crushes come from all directions, but who can she trust?

Great job Lifetime!!!! This suspense thriller does not follow the normal structure of stalking and leaves you with plenty of surprising moments to keep you engaged. Amelia isn’t the typical teen ignoring her mother’s warnings. And Tracy is the normal mom fighting from the beginning to the end. Amelia’s attempts at change are admirable and she never falls off the wagon even with the toughest adversity testing her resolve. Now be forewarned, you may be able to pick out who the stalker is, but not why that person is stalking Amelia. The truth will blow your mind. It is a good twist to what could have been an ordinary Lifetime stalker story. Give this movie your full attention and a glass of wine.

I give it 4.5 out of 5 stars

That would be wonderful. I could use all the support I can get – Amelia

So why are you here – Tracy

It’s fine. I was just using that as an ice breaker – Jake

Well you can always stay over – Scott

Don’t you dare cry – Mrs. Hessler

Yeah, we’re doing this – Joy

You’re allowed to be angry at her. You are not allowed to give up on her – Gwen

Crazy or not, I still think he is a total fox – Lauren

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Tour de Pharmacy – Review

Tour de Pharmacy – HBO – 45 minutes

Tour de Pharmacy

In 1982, 170 cyclists raced in the Tour de France. Everything was going well until JuJu Peppi flirted with a girl and caused a huge crash; a “fight” started on the cycle path. After the fight, the police found a water bottle containing amphetamines and needles was found. After an investigation, only 5 riders were allowed to race.  Not because they weren’t on drugs, but because they didn’t pay bribe money.

  1. JuJu – won the race last year
  2. Slim – wants to be the first black anything
  3. Gustav – gained 200 pounds of muscle in a year
  4. Adrian – hiding the fact she is a woman
  5. Marty – an African hated by Africans

This race will be the longest and most controversial in the Tour’s history.

This mockumentary follows the same humor of 7 Days in Hell.  They took a serious and real issue and give the audience something at which to laugh.  You will watch this movie with one of three reactions: Confusion, Shock, or Laughter.  This humor may not be everyone’s cup of tea, the actor portrayals are.  They have younger versions of the actors in “clips” and older version of the actors in the “interview”.  And the older actors either wear the same still wig or article of clothing as their younger counterparts.  The cameo from Lance Armstrong proves he can laugh at a situation that exposed him.  This is one to DVR and watch when you have the time, but not around children.

I give it 3 out of 5 stars

The shaving of legs. I haven’t done this before – Adrian

I bless the rains down in Africa – Marty

It was like a pistachio nut in a dirty birds nest – Lance

Nobody asks me if I am cheating on my wife because I am – Ditmar

Yep. Excuse me for one moment, I need to see some over there – Slim

How do you beat a man on drugs if your not on drugs – JuJu

It is Gatorade. I will drink it now – Gustav

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#Storks – Review

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Storks – Budget Unknown – 1 hour and 29 minutes

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Storks
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For centuries, Storks have delivered babies to humans. However, 18 years ago, that all came to an end when Jasper, a stork, wanted to keep one of the babies. In a tussle, the baby’s beacon broke and they never found her home. Today, the baby, known as Orphan Tulip, lives among the storks; and storks deliver packages for CornerStore.com instead of babies. Junior, a stork, has just delivered his 1,000,000th package and his boss, Hunter, has great news for him. Hunter will be moving up to the head office and Junior will become the boss on Monday. Hunter tells Junior to ensure is new position, he must not screw up until Monday and fire Tulip. Hunter points out that every time Tulip “helps”, production goes down. Junior tries to fire Tulip, but when he hears it’s her 18th birthday, he can’t. Instead, he moves her to the letter office and tells her never to leave.

Back on earth, Nate is a rambunctious little boy with parents who are overzealous about their non-stop real estate jobs. Nate, feeling lonely, decides that he wants a little brother. Henry and Sarah, Nate’s parents, tell him that he is enough and they aren’t going to have any more children. Later, Nate finds a Storks brochure in the attic and writes a letter requesting a brother. Of course, Nate’s letter winds up in the hands of Tulip. Tulip accidentally puts the letter in a baby maker and a baby comes out. Junior knows this will screw up his chances for his promotion if Hunter finds out.  So, he must fix it. With the help of Tulip and an injured wing, Junior will deliver this baby and get his promotion. Tulip wants to help because if she can help this baby find her family, maybe she can find her family one day, too.

Storks is as heartfelt as it is funny. Also, the Wolf Pack are as hilarious as The Hangover’s Wolf Pack and shape shift more than The Twilight’s Wolf Pack (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).  They steal the show.  Storks is fun because it makes fun of itself for being outrageous and sometimes silly. It may not be a classic but it is worth seeing in the theaters. Children and adults will laugh alike and it may bring a tear to your eye. If you come early you will be treated with a Lego Short Movie, but don’t stay pass the end crawl. There is no need to see this movie in 3D, but full price will not be a disappointment.

I give it 3.5 out of 5 stars

If I go blind, it was worth it. – Junior

We have you and that’s all we need – Henry

We’re all the same and she’s a weirdo – Pigeon Toady

I don’t fit in anywhere at all and all I want to do is help – Tulip

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